Who Knew $30 Was Worth So Much?

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you checking in for this week's Weird & Whacked Wednesday entry - my apologies; as I mentioned yesterday, I was in shutdown most of last week. So while I don't have a recap of the more notable newsmakers, I'll leave you with something even better...well, in my opinion it is.

My days at work are spent with very restricted internet access - I can't even log on to Deadspin due to my organization's firewall, so the internet is pretty much a write off. The amount of restrictions on email is also pretty bad - anything with a swear word never makes it to my inbox. However, yesterday the firewall must have been down because this one got through - and it brought a much needed laugh (given the events of the weekend).

Allow me to set it up for you - like most of you, I like to play poker once in a while; nothing serious, just a $30 entry into a tournament style game. I missed last Friday's game due to family commitments in Toronto, but the game went on as planned. A few of us missed the game, which is the basis for tonight's entry. There has been an ongoing dispute between two of our group about prize money that is or isn't owed to one of the players (depending on your perspective). What you are about to read is the actual string of emails that went to the group - the names of the guilty have been deleted to protect their anonymity - from a man who will be known as R to his poker nemesis known as J. I have not edited or corrected the spelling, what you are about to read was the actual chain of emails (minus everyone's address).

Keep in mind that this is a friendly game between friends...but as a famous poker player once said, "There are no friends in poker." Boy was he ever right. Before you read this - while I missed Friday's game, I am NOT...repeat NOT...the "R" in this story.

From R:
Hi C:
Nice to know all went well. And sorry I couldn't attend to help control the Clown Niente (yes Niente you still owe me $30).

Christ even the family missed me, as my plane got in around Mid-Night. Man you got to love Air Canada, supported by the gov't all those years, a sheer monopoly in Canada and still they can't get their shit straight.

Take care.


From J:
R For the LAST Freaking time I OWE YOU SHIT , and please keep your daily drab to yourself - you just wasted 10 seconds of my time....fart breath


From R:
Listen to me you smelly Spick, you never paid me for my winnings, which is still a sore spot. You paid your 5 month old bet that you and C lost not my 3rd place winnings.

As for wasting your time, you got gull. How on earth can I waste the time of a being that has senselessly roamed the earth for 40 yrs.

Your life has been a waste since conception.

Ah your conception occurred when a drunken sperm met a damaged egg.

The resulting mutated cells of the fertilized damaged egg normally called a zygote, in your case now called a zygoat, aka Waste Byproduct which normally is spewed during a woman's period) begins to multiply. Chromozones violently combine. Usually the "Dominant" ones attract but in your case "Regressive" ones combine to form a person, in your case the Idiot Clown. Slowly the mutated egg makes its way down to
the fallopian tube to the uterus and implants itself into the uterine wall.

The proud carrying mother immigrates to Canada under the false pretense of claiming to be a Political Refugee. Poof!!! out pops out the most hideous, big-headed ,midget bodied creature (borderline elephant man and terrorist) you have ever seen.

Since then the said Clown being continues to roam the earth wasting away his life and everyone he/she comes in contact with. Thank goodness to doctors who perform Sterilization on humans, maybe just maybe they'll get to the Clown to slow down and possibly stop the mutation from continuing.

You still owe me. PERIOD!!!

From J:
This just prove's how stupid you are , because I won the game does not mean I have to pay you, the cash is divided and you and you alone grab your winnings - so again retard it is your fault if you failed to pick up your cash , So now go fuck yourself fuckface cockbreath


From R:
Listen Mutant Niente, unlike you the money was never presented to me.

You were controlling it with L. I know L is honourable and you are not. Therefore I surmised you took all the money, as you would.

Unless you are trying to say C took it or L kept it.

Dish over the Cashhhhhhhhh you retard.


From J:
Again you fail to miss my point Asslicker Cumbreath , I took my loot and that's it you cracker ass cracker , I'm not pointing fingers - just saying it wasn't me so don't blame me for your stupidy and shortcomings


From R:
Hey Clown, it wasn't shortcomings. It was based on Trust and rumour has it you kept it. If you need it that bad, keep it then. I thought that now that you a Canadian Citizen and not an Illegal that you were better off financially.


From J:
Whatever I never snatched your winnings , beleive what you want to beleive your to much of a block head to be convinced other wise you mental case


From R:
You see this proves how much of a moron you are. D is trying to tell you to let this go. So SHUT THE FUK UP Clown. It's over. I have one on you, just on PRINCIPLE


From J:
You retard , I was playing with D , yes it was suttle but I don't expect a mental midget like you to pick up on it , Plus your the one that keeps bringing this issue to light every two months , I realize your old and your memory is not what it was - that's if you had one - So take your own advice you and shut the fuk up you old wrinkled ass, bad breath fat bastard


From R:
Hey Clown, keep on writing the emails you do and I may change your name to Retard. Nahhhh I can't do that. I respect them too much to defame their name. Christ I'd be insulting them by calling you a Retard.

Get yourself a Dictionary or use Google, please, because your spelling sucks bad.

Subtle is not Suttle
You're is not Your

Also, never confuse the fat you carry with the muscle I do. Because of me, last year, Gus was able to lose some poundage. Maybe you should take my advise and try and lose some of your tonnage cus you spillth over. First off, my free advise to you is
(1) lay off the chips, donuts, nibs and Hamburger Helper, Fatso and maybe you'll start to look
like your bretheren Midget Mayan brothers from down south;

(2) stop smoking, cigarette breath;

(3) start walking, a bit at a time, it will help you with your lower body flab; and

(4) go back to flinging the mop again, it helps in developing the upper back, it get's rid of the sags you presently have on your arms, you know similar to the ones the wife has.

You got issues my friend, I think you should got back to that animal doctor you call a psychologist to get you help. C is right. You need severe help. Take the $30 you owe me and put it towards the Initial Assessment Fee, it'll make me feel better.

Gentlemen of the Maleocchio Table can I start a collection for the Clown? Please advise.


We are still awaiting a response from J or anyone else who is considered part of the Maleocchio Table. I'll keep you posted if anything comes in tomorrow. I hope you found this half as amusing as I did. That's it for tonight gang - great night out watching the Maple Leafs beat the Rangers! Have a great one peeps.

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - for my angry poker playing buddies...a song from the Clash

Wrong 'Em Boyo - The Clash

Stagger Lee met Billy
And they got down to gamblin
Stagger Lee throwed seven
Billy said that he throwed eight
So Billy said, hey Stagger! I'm gonna make my big attack
I'm gonna have to leave my knife in your back

Why do you try to cheat?
And trample people under your feet
Don't you know it is wrong?
To cheat the trying man
Don't you know it is wrong?
To cheat the trying man
So you better stop, it is the wrong 'em boyo

You lie, steal, cheat and deceit
In such a small, small game
Don't you know it is wrong
To cheat the trying man
Don't you know it is wrong
To cheat the trying man
You'd better stop, it is the Wrong 'Em Boyo

Billy Boy has been shot
And Stagger Lee's come out on top
Don't you know it is wrong
To cheat the trying man
Don't you know it is wrong
To cheat Stagger man
You'd better stop
It is the Wrong 'Em Boyo

You must start all over again-all over again
Don't you know it is wrong
You got to play it, Billy, play,
Don't you know it is wrong
You got to play it, Billy, play
And you will find it is the right 'em boyo

But if you must lie and deceit
And trample people under your feet
Don't you know it is wrong
To cheat the trying man
Don't you know it is wrong
To cheat the trying man
You better stop.
It is the wrong 'em boyo(x6)

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Where's Waldo?

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

In today's segment of "Where's Waldo?" better known to Bruins fans as "Who is going to grab the team and say 'Follow me, boys, I'll show you the way." - the Bruins are still looking for someone to grab the team and lead them out of this abyss known as January. The team Hazel spends a lot of time covering got waxed last night in Buffalo; this time by a score of 7-1. At last report, Bruins coach Dave Lewis was still searching for answers and seen walking out of the building muttering like the absent-minded wolf on the old Bugs Bunny cartoons (I was supposed to hunt a rabbit? ya ya ya that's it...a rabbit. Ya).

The night wasn't a complete wash for Hazel and members of Leaf Nation - Toronto walked into head coach Paul Maurice's stomping grounds and beat the Carolina Hurricanes by a score of 4-1. Nik Antropov led the way with two goals - who knew he was off the injured list? They're managing to fight through the injuries and remain in playoff contention - the 2007 version of last year's Edmonton Oilers? Before you scoff at that, two words - Hazel Karma.

Bad news from the Northeast - the Tards rebounded from a loss to the Habs on Monday night to beat the Washington Capitals by a score of 3-2. Another day of listening to the SenaTards army talking about how they are ready to make a run at the Stanley Cup - there are two special kind of idiots in the NHL, fans of the SenaTards and Canadiens, who talk Stanley Cup in December and January. Guess we won't have to worry about that nonsense coming from Boston huh?


HAZEL'S THREE STARS
Toronto Maple Leafs C/LW/RW (wherever he plays when he's not hurt) Nik Antropov had two goals last night in the win over Carolina last night - that is a cause for celebration in Leafs Land.

Buffalo Sabres C Daniel Briere had a hat-trick last night in a 7-1 waxing/shellacking/pasting of the Bruins last night.

Dallas Stars C Mike Ribeiro had a goal and an assist in regulation, and added the winner in the shootout, as Dallas came back from being down 2-0 in the 3rd period to win 3-2. You know the rule about Ribeiro here.

That's about it for this morning gang - we'll pick up the Three Play later in the week...still doesn't feel right.

HAZEL'S WEDNESDAY HOROSCOPE
Rid yourself of all the aggravation you've been dealing with. It's up to you to put an end to whatever is driving you to distraction. A trip or a chance to relax would do you a world of good. 2 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - just because

Kiss From A Rose - Seal

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

The Hazies - The Champs and Chumps

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you who haven't been here before, The Hazies take a look back at the week or so that was in the world of sports, highlighting some of the more notable performances - to those who have risen above the rest, we award them with an honourary "Hazie" - the lucky few have the title of "Hazel's Hero" bestowed upon them. While Hazel hasn't officially OK'd this week's winners, we'd like to think she raise her glass and say "This Bud's for you!" (Budweiser is a sponsor at Fenway huh? Ugh, can't the guys in Boston approach Guinness as the "Beer of the Red Sox"?)

As I mentioned this morning, I didn't really keep a close eye on the goings on in the world of sports last week; while this week's entry is shorter than most, the winners accomplishments are stellar nonetheless and merit some recognition.

HAZEL'S HEROES - THE CHAMPS

NHL
Former Montreal Canadiens goalie Ken Dryden had his number 29 retired last night and raised up to the rafters at the Bell Centre. Dryden's playing career was relatively short, but he made an impact as he backstopped the Canadiens to six Stanley Cups between 1971 and 1979. Dryden won five Vezina Trophies for league's best goalie, one Conn Symthe for MVP in the playoffs, named a first-team all-star five times, and backstopped Canada to a memorable win in the 1972 Summit Series against the Soviet Union. He finished his career with 258 wins, 57 losses and 74 ties.

The say with age comes wisdom and that was never more evident than in the case of Dryden, who came out of retirement years later to accept the most presitigious job in the world of hockey - President and General Manager of Hazel's Toronto Maple Leafs (that's right Bruins fans - I said "Hazel's Toronto Maple Leafs"...think about that when you tune into The Buzz).

Toronto Maple Leafs Captain Mats Sundin scored his 19th goal of the season on Saturday night in a 4-1 win over the aforementioned Canadiens. The goal was Sundin's 1220th career point, good enough to put him in the top 40 all-time leading scorers.

Pittsburgh Penguins RW Mark Recchi had three goals and three assists in leading the Pens to two road wins.

Columbus Blue Jackets G Frederik Norrena (gee, and I thought his first Hazie would be his last) beat the Sabres and the Wild last week - posting a GAA of 1.88 and a save percentage of .949.

Edmonton Oilers LW Ryan Smyth had two goals and three assists as the Oilers split a pair of games.


HAZEL'S ZEROES - THE CHUMPS

NHL
Ok, Hazel probably wouldn't like this one, but we call them like we see or read them. This week's chump is Boston Bruins coach Dave Lewis. For those of you who are not aware, the Bruins have been mired in a slump recently and there are no signs of them emerging from this funk anytime soon.

The Boston Globe's Fluto Shinzawa wrote that when asked about what the team needed right now, Lewis' response was "Hmmm, what is it? I'd like to see someone on this team grab the team and say 'Follow me', I don't care who it is...be it a kid or someone or someone you don't expect it to be...someone."

When asked if that wasn't the role Bruins' Captain Zdeno Chara should be fulfilling, Lewis responded "I'm just looking for somebody, let's put it that way. I am looking for someone to say 'Follow me, boys, and I'll show you the way."

So where do you start with this? Is Lewis looking for Moses to visit the TD Banknorth Garden and part the sea of empty seats? Is he looking for the reincarnation of John Wayne? Has he been watching too many old war movies? (insert your Adolf joke here)

I always thought it was the role of the coach to "show his players the way". Good coaches adjust lines or bench guys who are underperforming to send a message; they send a message by giving fourth line energy guys more ice time. A good coach will challenge his players behind closed doors, but will have their backs in front of the media and talk about how they are going to get through this. Good coaches don't call out their players with innocuous statements about looking for a leader - good coaches know who the damn leader is and get the best out of them. If you are a fan of the Bruins, I feel sorry for you. I feel even more sorry for Hazel who has to cover these guys. Bruins fans, if you love your team - send Lewis a tape of what good coaches do when their team is facing adversity.

Toronto Maple Leafs' coach Paul Maurice handled the media very well when the Leafs were mired in the abyss. He very matter of factly stated that his team wasn't playing well, identified areas they had to improve on, and challenged certain guys to step up...one of the notables was young center John Pohl. Maurice called him out by saying that he had to be as good as they knew he could be, that the team was counting on him to replace Michael Peca. Maurice never hung is team out to dry by implying they had no character or guts.

Dave Lewis was always regarded as one of the league best assistant coaches - he's in way over his head right now.

That's about it for tonight gang. Have a great one peeps!

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the night on Hazelspeeps - for my "cousin" Caterina who called me today after reading this morning's entry to say "couldn't you have picked Nelly Furtado?"

Say It Right - Nelly Furtado

In the day,
In the night
Say it right
Say it all

You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand
Or you fall

When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
Do you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonite you tonite

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
Do you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

From my hands I could give you something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?


Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Please Take One Minute

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Lately, we've been doing Hazel's Heroes - The Champs & Chumps on Tuesday, and we'll get to that later tonight. This morning's post has nothing to do with sports though. I spent the weekend in Hazel's old stomping grounds to lend some support to a very close family friend (if you are Portuguese, you'd know we refer to them as "cousins") who lost her mother on Friday morning to breast cancer.

Over the last couple of years of doing this blog, I have asked people who check in to consider donating a few bucks to worthy causes - I don't know if any of you do, but if you have taken the time to consider it, thank you. Today, I humbly ask you to consider throwing a few bucks towards your national Breast Cancer Foundation - the disease is taking away our mothers, grandmothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, daughters and friends. I know people have their designated charities that they give to - if you are one of Hazel's legions of fans and admirers, you know she is always ready to help out at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston - but why not consider donating what you would spend on lunch one day or on a night out on the town for a very worthy cause. I think Hazel would give her thumbs up to a one time (or regular) donation to the Breast Cancer Foundation.

Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation

U.S Breast Cancer Foundation

Like I said, we'll be back later with Hazel's Heroes - The Champs & Chumps. Given the content of this post, we have to highlight one champ this morning. Former England Captain David Beckham proved to be a champ - I know, I know, I like to give the Englishman the business every time I can; but today Beckham gets nothing but love here.

After a very long day Saturday night, I picked up a copy of the Sun and read a story about how Beckham brightened the day of a young Canadian girl suffering from leukemia. The story was about a 19 year old girl name Becca who was one of Beckham's biggest fans. Her aunt somehow connected with Beckham's people to tell him about the young girl - a week later, Beckham phones her in the hospital to have a chat with her about how she was doing. He asked her if there was anything she wanted - and she politely said no. A few days later a package arrives from Madrid with Beckham's game jersey. That ladies and gentlemen epitomizes a champ - all too often we get wrapped up in some of the bad things professional athletes do...but some rise above the rest to show that they are ok. Beckham gets a free pass here for a while - at least until he comes to the MLS.

That is it for this morning gang - thank you for taking the time to read this.

HAZEL'S TUESDAY HOROSCOPE
You may have to juggle things around to appease someone you care about. Emotional matters will escalate if you aren't willing to back down or at least compromise. Pick and choose your battles wisely. 2 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - for my "cousin" Caterina (I will never ever call you Catherine...never) who's mom was a great woman who instilled in her daughter an appreciation for "that shitty old Porkchop music". I'm going with You Tube for today's selections - all about Amalia

Povo Que Lavas No Rio - Mariza doing one of Amalia's signature classics

Estranha Forma De Vida - Amalia, they are being pulled off You Tube, but my "tia Floripes'" favourite

Casa Da Mariquinhas - Amalia a song that every one of our mom's sang to us as kids, no video of Amalia, but the track is the original

Adeus

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

John Tavares, a 16 year old center for the Oshawa Generals of the Ontario Hockey League, had five goals and two assists last night in a 9-6 win over the Windsor Spitfires. Tavares now has 50 goals and 45 assists in 44 games and is leading the league in scoring. Remember his name gang, this young Portuguese dude is destined for a great career in the NHL - hopefully in the blue and white of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The NHL starts up tonight - but most of us reading the page will be waiting for tomorrow's games, with the Maple Leafs taking on the Canadiens and the Bruins visiting the SenaTards.

That's it for this morning gang - have a great one peeps!

HAZEL'S FRIDAY HOROSCOPE
Take a fresh approach to something you have done in the past and you will get better results. Don't overreact or give your true feelings away but file away the information, giving you a powerful weapon for future discussions. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - it is -32C with the windchill today (25 below 0 degrees farenheit for our American friends), cold enough to freeze your private parts and turn your johnson into a maraca. With thoughts of sunnier, warmer days ahead.

Jammin' - Bob Marley

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Weird & Whacked Wednesday

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

So we're a few hours late again, for new readers to the page, Wednesday entries take a look back at the week that was in the world of sports and highlight some of the more notable newsmakers and their stories. Generally, the stories fall under the category of the weird, the whacked, or the just plain dumb - I'll let you decide where you think each fits.

NFL

DO I HEAR AN EVEN DOZEN?
The count now stands at nine. Cincinnati Bengals CB Johnathan Joseph was arrested earlier this week and charged with possession of marijuana - making him the ninth Bengals' player arrested in nine months...an even dozen by April? The arrest comes three weeks after coach Marvin Lewis announced a new "get-tough" policy with players who get in trouble with the law or violate team rules. It will be interesting to see how Lewis handles the first incident to happen after his new tough stance - especially considering that Joseph was the Bengals' first overall draft pick last year.

File this one under just plain dumb - you finish your rookie season with a team that was an utter disappointment, a team that had a number of run ins with the law that resulted in arrests, and your embattled coach issues a statement saying that the country club atmosphere is over - and you are carrying pot around in a backpack? They should stand him in front of two of his teammates - this is your brain (Ocho Cinco), this is your brain on drugs (Chris Henry).


HE'S NOT MAD - HE'S GROUNDED
Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid spoke to the media yesterday, via conference call, to quash rumours that Eagles QB Donovan "Chunky Soup Lovin' Mama's Boy" McNabb was unhappy with the organization. McNabb was reportedly upset the Eagles wouldn't let him travel with the team to New Orleans for the NFC Divisional Playoff game; as well as suffering from a bruised ego because he felt some players on the team preferred backup Jeff Garcia as the starter. And what would a story about McNabb be without a reference to his mother? McNabb feels that his mother has been unfairly portrayed by the media and the fans.

File this one under whacked - for everything involved in the story. For Andy Reid cancelling one of McNabb's press conferences to not letting him fly with the team - if he is your leader, why wouldn't you want him there? Then you have McNabb, whining about whether his teammates like Garcia to complaining about how his mother is being protrayed. Seems to me like his mom has done everything to promote herself - and didn't even have the good sense to keep her pie hole shut about her son's team winning without him...she had to write about it in her blog. Part of me wishes that McNabb and his mom would just go away and eat their damn Chunky Soup - but the Dallas Cowboys fan in me worries that Jerry Jones would pick him up to play with T.O. again.


AMERICANS ARE SO FUNNY
On behalf of all Canadians, let me say we like you guys. We love the NFL, we love MLB, (some idiots up here love the NBA), we love some of your TV shows (Rescue Me and NESN's SportsDesk come to mind) - we'd like to think we understand you guys...but we will NEVER understand your damn legal system. You have guilty, not guilty by reason of insanity, not guilty...we get that; but throw in No Contest and now, the Alford Plea and we are just confused.

Former Minnesota Vikings WR Koren Robinson reached a deal with prosecutors to be sentenced on a single charge of fleeing police after leading officers on a high speed chase last August. Police agreed to drop a number of other charges related to drunk driving. Here's where it gets a little funny (for us Canadians)

"The Alford plea allows someone to acknowledge the evidence could result in a conviction, but doesn't have to admit guilt."

File this one under whacked - huh? You agree to be sentenced on a conviction but you don't admit guilt? How does this make sense? You acknowledge that the evidence could result in a conviction - that should be a given since you agreed to be sentenced - yet you don't have to admit you are guilty? Did Clinton ever enter an Alford Plea? I'm hoping my man Drisc can explain this to me - or friggin' DJames if he ever checks in here again!


DON'T DRINK THE WATER TANK
Chicago Bears DT Tank "Machine Gun" Johnson will be allowed to play in the Super Bowl; albeit with a warning from an Illinois judge to stay out of trouble. Johnson was granted permission to leave the state while await trial on gun possession charges. For those of you who haven't heard, this was Johnson's third arrest in the last 18 months - I think he would fit in nicely with the Bengals. Reports indicate that Johnson got a call from Ron Mexico yesterday, with the following advice "Don't drink the water Tank!"

File this one under whacked - you've gotta love those laws south of the border. When asked about the judgement, his defence attorney commented "He is a young man who is right now having the opportunity of a lifetime," - if she ever decides to stop practicing law, I'm sure she would have a future as Terrell Owens PR spokesperson.


SPEAKING OF RON MEXICO
Michael Vick was cleared of any wrongdoing after security at Miami International Airport confiscated a bottle of water he had - on the suspicion that it contained traces of marijuana. A newspaper had requested a copy of the video tape of the incident, but were told the tapes were erased.

This is just plain dumb - a bottle with a secret compartment, the owner refusing to give it up, suspicion of marijuana, and the evidence discarded. How about that homeland security initiative?


NHL

IF ITS BROKE - LEAVE IT BROKE
We know most of our readers don't care about hockey - but for those of you who do, the NHL Board of Governors have kicked you in the teeth again. Complaints about the NHL are at an all-time high; fans are complaining about the level of play, the lack of physical play in the game, and a schedule that pits division rivals against each other every second night (at least it feels that way). The NHL voted against changing their unbalanced schedule, meaning a division in the Western Conference will miss out on the likes of Crosby or Ovechkin (the two wonderkids the NHL is pinning its hopes on) or a visit from the Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadiens (two of the league's biggest draws). 11 of the 30 representatives voted against changing the schedule, meaning that Hazel will get to see the Maple Leafs, Canadiens and the SenaTards visit Boston four times next year.

File this one under just plain dumb - the NHL promotes divisional rivalries when their playoff format isn't divisional (meaning you could very well not meet a divisional rival in the playoffs); attendance in the league is way down, and the teams that need these draws the most will be denied good gates and much needed revenue. The NHL has bascially told their fans to kiss their old lily white cans - cuz its all about the money baby.


MAYBE ITS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY
The NHL unveiled the new generation jerseys made by Reebok - next year, every NHL team will be sporting the new jerseys, which represent a huge leap forward in the evolution of hockey equipment. Commissioner Gary Bettman told the media that the new jerseys were not about money, but rather improving the performance of NHL players. The jerseys are lighter, retain less water, and are reported to increase skating speed by up to 14%. If want to feel like an NHLer, you can buy a personalized jersey for the bargain basement price of $425. Ah huh...not about the money.

File this one under weird - they unveil the jersey at their all-star showcase? They didn't want to talk about hockey? This is a combination of a cash-grab and a cover-up - to deflect attention from their product. Best quote about the new jerseys comes from San Jose Sharks D Scott Hannan who said, "They say it will improve speed up to 14%, I've only seen an 8% increase so far."

For those of you that care - the Western Conference beat the Eastern Conference by a score of 12-9 at last night's NHL All-Star game. No three stars on this one - most of them floated out there tonight.

That's it for this morning gang - have a great one peeps!

Happy Birthday "Vo"

HAZEL'S THURSDAY HOROSCOPE
A lesson can be learned today that will help you in the future. You can make a change to your regular routine that will help you become more efficient. If someone you used to know is still on your mind, contact this person. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - wake up song

Crucial - K-Os

All around my home town
They tryin' to chop me down
But the truth shall not forsake me
Lift me up to higher ground
And you
You're the light when the feeling is dark

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Quick Hits

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

NHL All-Star Game
They held the skills competition last night - they should just wrap it up now. They NHL All-Star game is probably the worst of the four major sports, its just a game of shinny out there, no matter what the so called experts tell you about how the young guys in this year's game are going to try.

The Young Guns played last night - I watched 5 minutes before turning it off in digust. These young guys were skating around at less then half speed and throwing the puck around like they were in practice. Someone should tell these guys that those people in the stands paid pretty good money for those tickets - and while the main attraction was the skills competition, they were still expected to go out and skate a little harder than they do at the team's annual Christmas skate. For those who care, Boston's Phil Kessel had three goals in the game.

Tank Johnson gets to go to Miami - he better not borrow "exonerated" Mike Vick's water bottle.

Terrell Owens loves Bill Parcells like his grandmother.

Another Wednesday...have a great one peeps.

HAZEL'S WEDNESDAY HOROSCOPE
Expand on ideas you have. Gather information that will make you more knowledgeable before you try to convince others to back your plans. A connection made at an event will help you put things in perspective. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - just because

Trip Through Your Wires - U2

Peesth Out...Buh Bye

Tuesday

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Parcells retires again - we are now left to worry that Jerry Jones will hire another Barry Switzer or Dave Campo...it will be an interesting off season in Big D.

HAZEL'S TUESDAY HOROSCOPE
Don't get annoyed if someone lets you down. Compassion, understanding and being generally helpful will be what gets you ahead. Don't give in to anyone who wants you to put yourself out for him or her. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - just because

Right Here Waiting - Stain'd

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Road Warriors

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Conference Championship Sunday Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Nothing good about last night, nothing at all. The Maple Leafs were spanked by the Penguins last night in a game where breathing on a Penguins player was a penalty last night; and the SenaTards spanked by the Bruins last night - Bruins G Hannu Toivonen stood on his head last night to hold the Tards to 2 goals when they could have (and probably should have) had six. Oh yeah, poker sucked too.

NFL Championship Sunday - a day for road warriors. We've been discussing it on yahoo all week, and most of us like the road teams today...Renee being the only dissenter in the bunch - we think she's picking the Bears and Colts, though she hasn't come out and officially said it. You are probably bored to death with all the analysis, so I'll offer the following. Brees vs Grossman, and Brady vs. Manning - who would you pick?

HAZEL'S THREE STARS - because we have to, not because we want to this morning.

St. Louis Blues G Manny Legace made 34 saves in a 1-0 victory over San Jose last night - this one hurts because it killed out big play last night.

Nashville Predators C David Legwand had 3 goals and an assist in a 6-3 pasting of the Blackhawks last night.

Calgary Flames G Miikaa Kiprusoff made 32 saves in a 4-0 win over the Oilers last night - he stood on his head in the third period to preserve the shutout.

Note: No SenaTards or Penguins were hurt in picking the three stars...though we'd really like to hurt some of them this morning.


SUNDAY TWO PLAY
We blew the damn bank last night - thanks to the San Jose Sharks who have killed us this year...they are about to be put into the Ron Mexico category where we just stay away from them.

New Orleans +2.5 over Chicago - New Orleans has too many options on offence for the Bears to deal with; and do you really want to trust Rex Grossman to have two good weeks? Lay $75 on the Saints.

New England +3 over Indianapolis - the sucker bet says that you pick Manning and the Colts because "he has to win one eventually", that is what Vegas wants everyone to think. We discussed this on yahoo earlier this week, Tarkinton, Fouts and Marino - three of the best of their generation who never won the big one...don't expect Manning to do it today. Lay $150 on the Pats +3 and say thank you.

That's it for this morning gang...have a great one peeps!

HAZEL'S SUNDAY HOROSCOPE
Get out today and you will find yourself traveling down an interesting road. A little ingenuity along with some new ideas will lead to a new concept. Love and romance will engulf you. 4 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world - enjoy your NFL Sunday after an awful Saturday night.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - wake up song

Wait For You - Nelly Furtado

Peesth Out - Buh Bye!

Soccer Night In Pittsburgh

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Busy morning, busy day, so I'm late.

The Maple Leafs are playing the high flying Penguins tonight - I say that only because Sidney Crosby will be flying around the ice tonight diving around enough to make any soccer player stand up and take notice. You think soccer players are divers? Have a look at Crosby flop around when someone lays a finger on him. Leafs looking to win three straight on the road tonight - Hazel Karma would be very much appreciated.

The SenaTards are in Boston to pay a visit to the Bruins (we wonder if Hazel will be in the stands tonight). Bruins will look to make up for the 3rd period brain cramp they had against the Tards the last time out.

HAZEL'S THREE STARS
Minnesota Wild RW Marian Gaborik had two goals to lead the Wild to a 3-0 shutout over the Blackhawks last night. The Hawks are reeling right now.

Calgary Flames D Dion Phaneuf had a goal and an assist in a 3-2 victory over the banged up Anaheim Ducks.

Buffalo Sabres LW Ales Kotalik scored the winning goal in a 4-3 shootout win over the Vancouver Canucks last night...good for the Three Play.


SATURDAY THREE PLAY
We've recovered this week and stand at $290 in the black. We'll keep it going tonight.

San Jose over St. Louis - the Blues have been playing better of late, but they aren't ready for what Joe Thornton and the Sharks will hit them with tonight. Lay $100 on the Sharks - $290.

Nashville over Chicago - remember what I said? the Hawks are reeling right now...not a good way to go into Nashville. Lay $75 on Nashville - $330.

Buffalo over Montreal - Sabres came off a tough shootout win last night, but we still like them against a Habs team that hasn't overwhelmed anyone lately. Lay $50 on Buffalo - $115.

That's it for this afternoon gang - poker night tonight. Gimme those pocket rockets!

HAZEL'S SATURDAY HOROSCOPE
Take a walk on the wild side and you will discover something very unusual about who you are and what you are capable of. Try new things. Once you set yourself free, you will be able to expand on what you do best. 4 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world - if you make it down to the Garden tonight...GO BRUINS!

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - for my pal Renee - for a yahoo discussion (with tongue firmly implanted in cheek - cuz we know she hates hip-hop)

Hush - LL Cool J

Hush baby wanna let you know
This is how its gonna go
If you wanna come and play
Gotta do it my way, my way, my way

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

F'd Up Fridays

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

It has been a while since we have done a Weird & Whacked Wednesday update (so long that we forgot we did it on Wednesdays...oh well, call it F'd up Friday) - for new readers to the page, Wednesday entries take a look back at the week that was in the world of sports and highlight some of the more notable newsmakers and their stories. Generally, the stories fall under the category of the weird, the whacked, or the just plain dumb - I'll let you decide where you think each fits.


NFL

THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE!
NY Giants DL Michael Strahan's car was surrounded by police officers on Monday night - Strahan tried to confront his ex wife when he went to drop off his 2 year old twin daughters on Sunday night. Strahan lost in when the "live-in" carpenter told Strahan that his ex-wife wasn't home and that the nanny had the day off. Strahan was quoted as screaming "If Jean isn't here in five minutes, there's going to be trouble." Read the story for a complete account of what happened.

File this one under whacked - first off, who has a "live-in carpenter"? Second, Strahan drops his kids off with his new girlfriend in the front seat, and loses it when he hears his wife isn't home - he goes ballistic with his daughters in the back seat of the truck. If that wasn't enough, he violates a custody agreement when he jumped out of his Escalade to confront the carpenter - before storming off, only to start to circling the house. Suddenly, the plight of New Jersey Nets' PG Jason Kidd seems pretty tame and almost normal.


A NEW DEFINITION OF "OUTSTANDING"
I know that during playoff time it is customary to show your opponents a lot of respect and not give them any bulletin board material to rally around; but Saints' head coach Sean Payton spread it on a little thick when asked to comment on the Chicago Bears win over the Seattle Seahawks and the performance of Bears QB Rex Grossman. Payton said he thought Grossman was outstanding against the Seahawks, and went on to mention Grossman in the same sentence as New England's Tom Brady when talking about how both players played with confidence to lead their teams to victory.

File this one under just plain dumb - there's showing respect to the opposition - but that's going too far. If I'm Grossman, I read that as Payton mocking me. Payton could have showed respect for Grossman and the Bears by saying something innocuous like "He led his team to victory and that is what matters." Instead, he starts using words like "outstanding" and comparing Grossman's performance to Tom Brady's. I'm still pissed at the Saints for not covering on Saturday, so I hope Payton's words are prophetic - I hope that Grossman is truly outstanding this Sunday in a Bears win over the Saints.

MAYBE IT WAS VICK'S 44D?
Ron Mexico was asked to surrender his water bottle at Miami Internation Airport Wednesday (see? Wednesdays...I tell ya) - Police said the bottle smelled like marijuana and contained a substance in a hidden compartment. Vick wasn't arrested and was allowed to board the flight to Atlanta. The Ron Mexico trifecta: allegedly giving a woman herpes, giving Falcons fans the finger, and now this. Way to go Michael.

File this one under just plain dumb - two words "Ron Mexico"...with Airports scrutinzing everything, with the NFL policy on substance use/abuse, and coming off a forgettable season filled with controversy - he gets caught on this? He gratuated from Virginia Tech huh? Things that make you go hmmmm - or ha ha.


MLB

I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS BIGGER IN TEXAS?
The Texas Rangers are said to be working on a deal to sign the former Creatine Cub Sammy Sosa to a minor league contract. The Rangers have gone on record saying he'll have to earn a spot on the team. I guess their scouts didn't get out to Camden Yards a couple of years ago to see the new and much less improved Sosa struggle in Baltimore - anyone else notice how skinny he got after dumping the Creatine? Maybe they'll cork a bat for him.

File this one under just plain dumb - the Rangers have no clue...they are destined to be a last place team forever. Someone please get my boy Mark Texeira out of there - he deserves better than this.


SOCCER

STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE
Everyone has heard that David Beckham signed a 5 year $250M deal with the L.A. Galaxy of the MLS. It all made sense when I heard that the GM of the Galaxy is none other than former U.S. International Alexei Lalas...style over substance. Check out David Beckham's "Fact Box" - you know I'm loving all the references to losses to Portugal.

File this one under whacked - to try to put this into perspective for our American friends, this signing is equivalent to a guy like Rondell White of the Twins signing a $250M dollar contract with a Double A team. Think about it...that about sums it up. Beckham could still play for a lot of teams in Europe - just not for that kind of money...not even for a quarter of that money. The MLS will collapse under this contract.

Good night for Leaf Nation (and Hazel) in the NHL last night. The Maple Leafs win in Florida last night to go 2-0 on the swing - which is a pretty tough thing to do. The Bruins come back and win over Greg Louganis (aka Sidney Crosby) and the Penguins, and the SenaTards drop one to the Canucks.

We'll be back later with a breakdown of this week's Conference Championship games in the NFL. We'll see if Renee refers to "her Colts" again - it raised eyebrows on yahoo.


HAZEL'S THREE STARS
Tampa Bay Lightning C Brad Richards had two goals in regulation and the winner in the shootout in a 3-2 victory over Martin Brodeur and the New Jersey Devils.

Vancouver Canucks G Roberto Luongo stopped 34 shots in a 2-1 victory over the SenaTards - you know the deal with anyone who hands it to the Tards.

Montreal Canadiens G Cristobal Huet made 44 saves in a 4-1 victory over the Atlanta Thrashers last night - a great game by Huet, but its like putting a band-aid on a gash


FRIDAY'S THREE PLAY
We broke even on Wednesday night - with the Sabres win covering losses by Nashville and Calgary. We are still up for the week; tonight we increase the total:

Buffalo over Vancouver - I know Vancouver is the hottest team in the league right now, but they are playing their third game in four nights and fourth in seven. The streak ends tonight in Buffalo. Lay $100 on the Sabres - $225.

We'll think about the other ones during the day today...

That's it for this morning peeps. Enjoy your Friday

HAZEL'S FRIDAY HOROSCOPE
Get involved. It's time to give back. Help someone who can't do for him- or herself or volunteer for a cause you believe in. A trip will open doors that will lead you in a new direction. 4 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - wake up song...one of my favourites of all time

Stand Inside Your Love - Smashing Pumpkins

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Fukufuji'd!

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Yutaka Fukufuji ensured that he will have a place in the NHL History/Trivia books when he became the first ever Japanese player to start a game in the NHL. Fukufuji start in goal for the Kings who were slapped around by the Atlanta Thrashers. I was if Hazel was able to say his name without cracking a grin.

Speaking of which - anyone think that Fukufuji'd is the Japanese word for Schottenheimer'd? (Read Monday's post). David Beckham has been "Fukufuji'd" over the last couple of days in Spain - Real Madrid's President Ramon Calderon was quoted as saying:

"David Beckham will be an average cinema actor living in Hollywood.

The proof that our technical team was right in not considering his continuity has been ratified by every single technical team in the world, because no one, with the player having been free, has wanted him."

Ouch! Is Calderon bitch slapping Beckham? The LA Galaxy? or both? Those Spaniards can be a little testy huh?

Good night in the NHL last night - Maple Leafs shock the Lightning in Tampa last night and the Canadiens continue to struggle.

HAZEL'S THREE STARS
Vancouver Canucks G Robert Luongo made 30 saves in a 4-0 shutout over Montreal last night. Luongo was hurt in the pre-game warmup but came back to stymie his hometown team. Nice

Atlanta Thrashers LW Marian Hossa beat Los Angeles' Yutaka Fukufuji three times last night in Atlanta's 6-2 victory over the Kings. Have you perfected the "Fukufuji" yet?

St. Louis Blues D Eric Brewer had a goal and two assists last night to lead the Blues to a surprising 6-2 victory over the Ducks last night. I liked the Blues yesterday, but didn't include them on the three play.

WEDNESDAY THREE PLAY
We got well last night winning all three games, putting our balance for the week at + $190.

Buffalo over Boston - no way the Sabres lose back to back to the Bruins. Lay $100 on the Sabres - $275.

Calgary over Dallas - Dallas is banged up and the Flames are playing some good hockey. Lay $50 on the Flames + $105.

Nashville over Detroit - the Preds are the league's hottest team right now. Lay $50 on Nashville + $130.

That's it gang...have a great one peeps!

HAZEL'S WEDNESDAY HOROSCOPE
Take a moment and realize that you aren't alone. You may be feeling a little emotionally spent today but you have more support and help than you realize. If you need to retreat, someone will pick up the slack. 2 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - wake up song

Beautiful - Joydrop

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Last Word On Marty

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in today. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

So I took some flak for yesterday's post when I said that Marty Schottenheimer didn't blow the game for the Chargers and that, as a matter of fact, I think he put his team in a position to win.

My reasoning was that the Chargers had a decent offensive game plan - he didn't try to outwit the Patriots by using Tomlinson as a decoy, he got the ball into Tomlinson's hands and took some of the pressure off of Rivers. Schottenheimer couldn't control the on field brain cramps of Drayton Florence who took a stupid penalty that prolonged a New England drive; he couldn't control the fact that Eric Parker couldn't catch a cold yesterday, and he couldn't run on the field to tell Chargers' FS Marlon McCree to knock the damn ball down on a fourth down pass. Marty's team let him down - I'm sticking to that.

But in the interest of fairness, some of our astute readers pointed out the following Marty gaffs -

• not choosing to try a field goal in the first quater, opting instead to go for it on a 4th and 11 on New England's the 30 yard line - the end result was a sack.

My answer - Marty was in a no-win situation. He couldn't punt for field position; had he opted for the field goal and missed (likely considering Kaeding doesn't have a strong leg and a slight wind was in his face) he would have given the Patriots instant field position. The end result was no better than a missed field goal. Schottenheimer couldn't possibly win in that situation, a missed field goal would have killed his guys - I think he was trying to send his team a message - "No Martyball today - I believe in you guys." It didn't work.

• challenging the play where Troy Brown stripped McCree after the interception and costing his team a timeout they desperately needed at the end of the game.
  

My answer - ok, bad call definitely, but what we he supposed to do? He was likely told to challenge the call by guys in the booth. Maybe he wanted to give his team a chance to compose themselves after a brutal turn of events. Who knows...but we often here announcers say "He has to challenge it...it probably won't work, but he has to try." That being said though, it was a terrible decision on his part - but that makes ONE bad decision on the day.

I don't think Marty blew the game against New England - but who cares? The Patriots won and that is all that is important...right?

HAZEL'S "MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY" THREE STARS
Boston Bruins' G Tim Thomas stopped 34 shots in regulation and stoned Daniel Briere, Alex Kotalik and Thomas Vanek in the shootout to lead the Bruins to a 3-2 victory over the Sabres. It sucked for our Three Play - but you have to give it up to him. I think Hazel would agree.

Detroit Red Wings G "Robotron" (aka Dominik Hasek) made 23 saves in a 2-0 victory over the Montreal Canadiens last night - we like anyone who shuts the door on the Habs.

San Jose Sharks' C Patrick Marleau had a goal and two assists in a 3-1 victory over Colorado last night.

TUESDAY THREE PLAY
Another 2-1 night and we end up $45 in the red - we are going to suggest a few favourites today.

Atlanta over LA Kings - the Kings lost in Dallas yesterday afternoon against a Stars team missing three key players, its only going to get worse tonight in Atlanta. Lay $100 on the Thrashers - $320.

Ottawa over Washington - the Tards are on a good roll right now (my to my chagrin), and I can't see them dropping this to a Washington team that seems like they are lost and disinterested. Lay $75 on the Tards - $260.

Vancouver over Montreal - Roberto Luongo is on fire right now and he heads back to Montreal to play the Habs, he's always good at the Bell Centre. Lay $50 on Vancouver + $115.

That's about it for tonight gang...have a great one peeps!

HAZEL'S TUESDAY HOROSCOPE
Express your thoughts and you will captivate whatever audience you have. Don't be shy or afraid to ask for assistance. You can sail through without frustration or obstacles. Enjoy the moment. 5 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - I have questioned Boston G Tim Thomas in the past, his turn to respond

2 Legit to Quit - MC Hammer

Peesth Out...Buy Bye!

The Hazies - The Champs & Chumps

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you who haven't been here before, The Hazies take a look back at the week or so that was in the world of sports, highlighting some of the more notable performances - to those who have risen above the rest, we award them with an honourary "Hazie" - the lucky few have the title of "Hazel's Hero" bestowed upon them. As you can imagine, this week's winners come primarily from the National Football League (did you do the big booming voice when you read the last part?).

While Hazel hasn't officially approved this week's winners, we'd like to think she'd give her trademark smile and thumbs up to our selections (in case you are wondering, no - Hazel isn't reading a published version of the Hazies...though it would be pretty cool if she was).

HAZEL'S HEROES - THE CHAMPS

NFL
New England Patriots' QB Tom Brady didn't have his best game yesterday against the Chargers, but he fought through it and came up big when his team needed him most - he shook off his interception to lead his team to the game tying score, and hit Reche Caldwell with the long ball on a 3rd and 10 to put New England in position to kick the game winning field goal. 12 - 1 in the post-season and looking for his fourth Super Bowl...the epitome of a Champ.

New England WR/DB/PR (and whatever else he is asked to do) Troy Brown came up big for his team again yesterday, this time on the defensive end. What makes Brown a champ is not just that he stripped the Marlon McCree of the ball after the INT, it is that he does whatever his team asks him to do - no questions, no complaints, no griping. The man is the consumate professional and deserving of the title "Hazel's Hero - A Champ".

Indianapolis Colts' PK Adam Vinatieri tied a record that he held with a number of place kickers with five field goals against the Titans on Saturday. When Vinatieri left New England, there were some questions about the strength of his leg - well, he answered those questions with field goals of 48 and 51 yards. Vinatieri, like his old friend Tom Brady, is money in the playoffs - setting up a great matchup on Sunday.

New Orleans Saints' RB Deuce McAllister showed everyone why he is still the man - Deuce was written off after the Saints chose Reggie Bush, but he sucked it up and went out and played hard every game. McAllister was the featured back on Saturday, carrying the ball 21 times for 143 yards and a TD. Deuce has been the consumate team player - and that makes him a champ.


NHL
Ottawa SenaTards Captain, known to Leaf Nation as, Krusty the Clown, was named the NHL's First Star of the Week - blah blah blah. Krusty is known for being great from January to March - but we all know he does his best "Where's Waldo" imitation in April.

Calgary Flames' G Miikka Kiprusoff was named the Second Star of the Week. Kiprusoff posted a 1.33 GAA and a save percentage of .949 in leading the Flames to three straight wins last week - all this with Calgary's Captain Jarome Iginla out of the lineup.

Florida Panthers' C Olli Jokinen was named the Third Star of the Week. Jokinen lead Florida to two wins in three games, scoring 5 goals and adding an assist for the week. Jokinen deserves to play somewhere other than Florida.

Phoenix Coyotes' C Yanic Perreault was named to the Western Conference All-Star team, pretty damn good for a guy who signed for $700 K after sitting out a good part of the season. Oh yeah, he's a former Maple Leaf too!


HAZEL'S ZEROES - THE CHUMPS
Everyone is piling on Marty Schottenheimer today - maybe deservedly so, but check out some of this questionable, if not downright stupid decisions made by some of his colleagues?

Chicago Bears' coach Lovie Smith has been criticized for sticking with Rex Grossman - which most Bears fans find stupid. But Smith had the ultimate brain cramp yesterday against Seattle that SHOULD have cost him the game. For those of you who didn't see it, with two seconds left in the fourth quarter, the game tied at 24, and Seattle facing a fourth and forever on their own 46 - Lovie Smith calls a timeout; presumably thinking that Seattle would be stupid enough to punt the ball to Devin Hester . Apparently Lovie hasn't heard of the Hail Mary play (someone send him a tape of Flutie and Boston College over the Miami Hurricanes). Smith took a stupid gamble with the odds of something bad happening at 2-1; a miracle touchdown or interference call could have cost Chicago the game. Mary wouldn't do anything THAT dumb.

Philadelphia Eagles' Coach Andy Reid proved once again that he isn't the brightest star in the NFL. The Eagles were trailing by 3 with 1:56 left in the fourth and the ball on their own 44, facing a 4th and 10; Reid goes for it and the Eagles convert a long pass to get the first down...except the play was called back for a false start. With the Eagles facing a 4th and 15, he decides to punt the ball away, hoping his defence would be able to come up with a three and out against the Saints - something they had only twice the entire game (and only once in the second half). If you watched the game you know what happened - Deuce McAllister picked up a first down to allow the Saints to run out the clock, and with it, started the celebration at Donovan McNabb's mother's hotel room. Marty is criticized for being too conservative - but I think faced with the same situation, he would have went for it...maybe.

It took 17 games, but San Diego's LaDainian Tomlinson made the list of chumps for his comments about the Patriots celebration after Nate Kaeding missed a game tying field goal. I'm sure everyone who reads the page knows what Tomlinson said - it was bad enough that he accused the Patriots of having no class...but to call out Bill Belichick? Geezus L.T., Belichick is one of the most reserved men in the NFL and you claim that the taunting celebration is a reflection of him?

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM THE WEEKEND
Ok, like you, I spent a lot of time watching sports this weekend - and it turned out to be a waste time given how things turned out. As an aside, Drew Brees I still hate you this week. But there were a couple of funnies from the weekend of sports this past weekend.

CBS Announcer Phil Simms talking about Brady's passing prowess - "Tom Brady can get it into tight places." Bridgette Moynahan must have crossed the minds of Patriots' fans...don't you think?

Fox Soccernet Commentators after Newcastle's Nicky Butt scores the go ahead goal late in a game against Tottenham. "Butt has found the crack in Tottenham's defence."

If you have a submission, pass it along and we'll post it next week.

That's about it for tonight gang...have a great one peeps!

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - a great song that sticks in your head

Landing in London - Three Doors Down

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Schottenheimered

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Where to start this morning?

Renee, if you are checking in this morning, yes you were right. For those of you who didn't read the page last week - Renee called an Indy vs New England AFC Final...I stand humbled. Renee, never one to gloat, checked in after the game Saturday night to leave us all a message:

All you folks in the Jim Jones Suicide Football Pool who picked Baltimore over Indy? Drink your damn koolaid and take the BIG sleep!

Contrary to the MASH theme song Suicide IS painful tonight huh Ravenettes? hee hee hee.

While Indy QB Peyton Manning didn't find the endzone today, all you Ravenettes still lost as I predicted. The Colts defense was just a bit better and Domenic Rhodes was a freight train .
Its fate. Its kharma.

Adam Vinatieri VS the Patriots in the AFC title in Indy.

Your welcome!
Renee

Don't you just love her?

Schottenheimer must be German for "getting kicked in the nuts" - because that's how Chargers' coach Marty Schottenheimer, and the rest of the San Diego Chargers, have to be feeling this morning. Going into the game, the prevailing sentiment was that Marty would somehow blow this game by playing too conservative - Martyball. Well, I think Marty shocked everyone by NOT blowing it; he did everything to put his team in a position to win. Marty will be having nightmares about Elway AND Brady now.

The Chargers looked like they were going to win, leading by 8 points mid way through the fourth, when Troy Brown ripped their hearts out and stomped on them. Brown's strip and subsequent recovery after Patroits FS Marlon McCree had intercepted Brady, was the beginning of the end for Marty and the Chargers - you could see it on his face.

What can you say about Tom Brady? He overcomes three interceptions and still leads his team down the field for the game tying and winning scores in the fourth quarter. He does it on a day when New England's running game was shut down and the Chargers were pinning their ears back and coming after him. The man is money in the playoffs - he'll win his fourth Super Bowl next month, and with it, will earn the title of NFL's All-Time Greatest Playoff QB. I say that being a Dallas Cowboys fan, putting Brady ahead of Aikman is tough - but deserved.

Now, once upon a time, it was rumoured that our girl Hazel's favourite athlete was Joe Montana - so she might take issue with that last statement (albeit quietly) - but the fact of the matter is that Brady has done much more with less. Brady doesn't have the offensive weapons at WR that the 49ers teams of the 80's had, or the balanced attack that that great Cowboys' teams of the 90's had. What this guy has accomplished is nothing short of remarkable.

One last thought on the game - the talk today will likely focus on Troy Brown's play, deservedly so; however, I think one of the key points in the game that likely won't be talked about happened in the third quarter. The Patriots were driving, trailing 14-10, when Brady threw a ball that should have been intercepted at the two yard line - I say should have, because Ben Watson made an outstanding play to jar the ball loose and allow the Patriots to keep possession. They ultimately settled for a field goal to close the gap to one, but I'm telling you, if San Diego intercepts that ball (even at the two yard line) the momentum would have shifted so far in San Diego's favour that I don't know if the Patriots would have recovered. Watson saved the game on that play - he won't get as much attention as Brown and Brady, but he should for his hustle and using his head at a time when most receivers would have given up on the ball.

That field goal hurt San Diego - they had New England stopped at the 36 yard line on a third down play; it is unlikely Belichick would have risked giving up field position by kicking a 53 or 54 yard field goal - but Chargers CB Drayton Florence had a brain cramp and took an unnecessary roughness penalty to give the Patriots the ball at the 21. Had the Chargers picked that ball off at the 2 yard line, and overcome Florence's stupidity, it would have been a huge lift for them and a downer for the Patriots. Ben Watson should get some play today in New England - I'm sure an astute football fan like Hazel saw that play as being a critical one.

One last thought on the Chargers - I don't know if Marty Schottenheimer will be fired (should he? maybe) - what I do know he that he isn't a great coach and you see that today by his lack of action. The Chargers can pin their loss on two players, the aforementioned Florence, and WR Eric Parker who proved he wasn't ready for the big time. Parker dropped a couple of passes and fumbled away a punt that gave New England great field position and lead to the field goal on what should now be known as "the drive" (kidding). When Jimmy Johnson was coaching the Cowboys - guys like this would have been taken out of the game plan early (in the case of Parker) and benched for stupidity (in the case of Florence) - oh yeah, they would both find themselves released this morning. Schottenheimer won't do anything - but these two should be GONE this morning...the loss is on them.


HAZEL'S THREE STARS
Chicago Bears K Robbie Gould won the game for the Bears with a 49 yard field goal in overtime. In a game that didn't have any really great performances, you have to give it up to Gould for hitting a pressure kick. Oh yeah, the irony that Seattle loses on a 49 yard field goal, instead of a 21 yard kick in the Wild Card game wasn't lost on me either.

New England Patriots K Stephen Gostkowski hit the game winning field goal with 1:10 left in the game - but more importantly he hit a 50 yarder in the first quarter to give the Patriots the lead and get them off on the right foot.

New England Patriots TE Ben Watson for breaking up a pass that would have changed the momentum of the game had it been picked. He likely won't get a game star anywhere else - so he gets one here. Honourable mention goes to Rosevelt Colvin who had a GREAT interception as the Chargers were driving into New England territory leading 14-13...you won't see many better than that.

MONDAY THREE PLAY
We finished off an a good note going 3-0 yesterday, which took a bite out of an awful week. We blew the bankroll we started the week off with and now sit at - $270 for our nine weeks. We'll get it back in the black soon.

Buffalo over Boston - Sabres get it done against a Bruins team that can't seem to get it done in the third. Lay $100 on the Sabres - $170.

Nashville over Calgary - Flames haven't lost since Iginla went down...Nashville shows them tonight that life without Iggy isn't so easy. Lay $50 on the Predators - $180.

San Jose over Colorado - Sharks look good tonight against the Avs. Lay $75 on the Sharks - $200.


HAZEL'S MONDAY HOROSCOPE
Use whatever is made available to you to put your plans into play or resolve an issue that is holding you back. You may have to go the distance to talk with someone face-to-face but, if that's what it takes, it will be worth it. 5 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - with thoughts of Tom Brady

Everything is Automatic - Matthew Good Band

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

The Chicks Are All Right

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Well, I didn't listen to Renee and Tina and I got bounced out of my damn NFL Playoff Suicide Pool. Renee picked Indy to win outright, Tina liked Philly to win or keep it close - I chose to go with my first instinct (which has sucked this year in the NFL) and I'm out. Next year, I'm letting these two make my regular season and playoff picks - these two know their stuff. I'm just going to say I hate Drew Brees - fumbling the ball when they were on the 32 yard line...a field goal would have saved me. I hate you Drew Brees and I hope you lose next week.

Hockey Day in Canada was a disaster with the Maple Leafs getting spanked by the Canucks - another indifferent performance by Andrew Raycroft...Paul Maurice better pull out the old Eddie Shore teaching method of tying a rope around his goalie's neck and the crossbar, if the goalie flops down he gets hung up.

Back later with yesterday's Three Stars - can't bring myself to review game stats for yesterday's action.

Today's plays

New England plus the points
Seattle plus the points
Minnesota over Chicago

Go $100 on each.

Have a great one peeps.

HAZEL'S SUNDAY HOROSCOPE
You can find answers that will help you understand past occurrences. Once you put these matters to rest, it will be easy to move forward. A great deal is apparent and financial gain is in the picture. However, for now, realization and greater understanding should be foremost. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - for pick the Saints

Loser - Beck

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Saturday Night Three Play

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Tonight's suggested plays

New Orleans -5.5 over Philadelphia - because Renee agrees that the Saints will win. Lay $100 on the Saints.

Buffalo over Tampa Bay - Someone is going to have to pay for the rough stretch the Sabres have been through lately...Tampa is tonight's sacrificial lamb. Lay $100 on Buffalo - $220.

Toronto over Vancouver - Vancouver has been great of late, but they aren't great on the road. Hazel Karma at the ACC - lay $75 on Toronto - $130.

San Jose over Phoenix - Sharks look to avenge a loss in the last game. Lay $50 on the Sharks - $150.

Detroit over Chicago - the fact the Wings are coming off a road trip scares me a little...so we are only laying $50 on the Wings - $300.

That's it gang...update on Suicide pool - I hope Renee is right about the Colts, it will means six people are out of the pool. But we still think that Baltimore can come back.

Later gang...have a great one peeps.

Hazel, I hope you are enjoying your NFL Saturday/Hockey Day in Canada. Go Leafs!

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

National Couch Potatoe Day

Hey peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

A big day in sports up here in Canada. Its Hockey Day in Canada meaning we have a tripleheader today involving all six Canadian teams. The action starts this afternoon at 2 with the Habs taking on the SenaTards, Vancouver visiting Hazel's hold stomping grounds to take on the Maple Leafs, and the late game sees Edmonton heading south to pay a visit to the Calgary Flames.

If that wasn't good enough, the NFL Playoffs continue today - I don't think anyone here is going to be getting off the couch today. Despite the fact that most people are picking the Eagles over the Saints today, including our girl Tina, I'm sticking with the Saints - 5.5 in my suicide pool...wish me luck.

HAZEL'S THREE STARS
Nashville Predators' G Tomas Vokoun returned to action last night and stopped all 22 shots in a 2-0 victory over the Blue Jackets.

Atlanta Thrashers G Kari Lehtonen was outstanding last night in a loss to the Devils - Lehtonen stopped 32 of 34 shots in a tough loss.

Minnesota Wild G Manny Fernandez made 32 saves in a 4-2 victory over Edmonton last night - the Wild have been terrible on the road this season, but Fernandez came up big for them last night.


SATURDAY THREE PLAY
New York over Boston -with apologies to Hazel and all the Bruins' fans who check in here, I'm expecting the Rangers to get well today against a Bruins' team that can't stop the bleeding. Lay $ 100 on the Rangers - $165.

Montreal over Ottawa - the Habs always play the Tards tough, so I'm going stick with them this afternoon. Lay $50 on the Habs +125.

Baltimore - 4 over Indianapolis - with apologies to my pal Renee who likes the Colts today, I'm taking Baltimore's D over Manning today. Lay $100 on the Ravens.

That's about it for today gang...have a great one peeps.

HAZEL'S SATURDAY HOROSCOPE
A trip or getting together with peers will bring you challenges, helping you realize how much you actually have to offer. Your ability to think and act fast will impress. Physical activities will give you a sense of accomplishment. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world - too bad you're missing Hockey Day in Canada.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - just because

All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!

Unbeleafable - Unbelievable Even!

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

The Maple Leafs went into Buffalo last night with seven regulars out of the lineup and they found a way to beat the Sabres - a team that has had their number over the last five years. The Buds got two goals from RW Jeff O'Neill, who is looking more like the guy that played in Carolina, and a goal and an assist from Rip Van Winkle (aka Alex Steen) in the win. From all accounts, the Leafs out worked the Sabres, who rarely get outworked, and got solid goaltending from Andrew Raycroft. Leaf Nation might be ready to take a step back from the panic button - for a few days anyways.

Bittersweet sweet night for Hazel - the Bruins blew a lead three times last night before losing in a shootout to the Islanders...ouch.

So, the world's most over-rated, over-hyped, and over-exposed football player has agreed to a five year - TWO HUNDREAD AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLAR contract with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the MLS. This is proof positive that the United States of American doesn't get, and will never get, "world" football. The Galaxy will spin this the way the Sox spun Matsuzaka's signing - that it is as much about business opportunities (marketing) as it is about making their product better - I think everyone outside of the Galaxy's front office knows that they will never recoup that money. Beckham notoriety came from the fact that he played for two giants - Manchester United and Real Madrid...the LA Galaxy don't hold the same cachez. Beckham will be forgotten by world football fans in under a year - and I just can't see sports fans running out to buy Beckham jerseys for more than a year or so. Beckham is going to be hard-pressed to establish himself as the best player in the MLS...this is a train wreck waiting to happen, and unfortunately for American "soccer" fans, the casualty is going to be the whole MLS. This is the New York Cosmos all over again. Unbelievable.

Beckham has often been chided for not being the brightest star in the sky - but any guy who can parlay losing his spot on England's National Team and his starting spot on Real Madrid into a $250M contract is no fool. Beckham knew that he had become a bit player on the world football scene and bolted before his play slipped even more - he'll hide out in the States, make $50M a year, and look to hire a new nanny. Word is that New York Yankees 3B Alex Rodriguez is writing the Galaxy a thank you note - and is planning to personally greet Beckham upon his arrival in the U.S. Word from Texas is that Roger Clemens is now looking for FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS to pitch for half a season this year - his reasoning is that he is twice as good as Beckham.

So Barry Bonds tested positive for amphetamines last season, but was not suspended as they aren't banned, initially blamed it on a teammate and then says he never attempted to attribute his positive test to pills he took from Mark Sweeney's locker. The thing that gets me is that incidents like this were never supposed to be publicized - a first offence on a violation like testing positive for amphetamines is not supposed to be announced - yet someone in MLB leaked the information to a newspaper. Barry Bonds' MLB's Al Capone - it would be pretty funny if the San Francisco Giants' refused to finalize his contract.

RENEE'S FRIDAY MORNING RANT
Renee checked in to yahoo last night with her thoughts on the Boston Bruins:

Is Zdeno Chara ever going to start acting like captain and fight or what?

Here's this 6'9" behemouth whom the Bruins sign for HUGE bucks. He has/had a reputation as a great defenseman and an enforcer. Bruins fans were psyched. Now the big goof won't drop his gloves and take a 5 minute fighting major to send a message or get this team going.

Now before y'all start laying this new NHL shit and we need Z on the ice more than the the
penalty box. Those theories are baseless. The Bruins dress 6 professional defensemen.
They can play without Chara for 5 minutes.

Captains are leaders. Murray and Bergeron who wear the A's are not fighters Chara supposedly is. Its time Chara stopped acting like a big friggin' pussy drop the gloves and fight. He looks like a big geek out there.

NFL SATURDAY - SUICIDE POOL
I put a question to the peeps on yahoo - pick ONE winner on Saturday. I'm in a pretty big playoff suicide pool and we are down to 19 after the first weekend in the NFL. I'm leaning towards picking New Orleans who are down to 4.5 favourites over Philadelphia. Renee and I made our picks on yahoo.

BALTIMORE -3.5 over Indianapolis

Renee says:
Colts invade Baltimore their former home. Expect the Ravens crowd to really be into this game
and all over Peyton Manning.

In the end I think Manning shines. Having the greatest clutch kicker in Vinatieri makes it even better. COLTS win outright.

Pogue says:
I don't think the Colts D can rise to the occasion for a second straight week against a good rushing team - the are STILL the league's worst defence against the run, it was ONE good game. The Colts stacked eight in the box and put the game in an injured Trent Green's hands - if they try that against McNair, he'll pick them apart by throwing to Todd Heap and the wideouts off of play action. Baltimore has more playmakers on defence that the Chiefs do - if Manning had trouble with the Chiefs indoors, what is going to happen against a monster defence like Baltimore OUTDOORS???


NEW ORLEANS -4.5 over Philadelphia

Renee says:
I like the fact that the Saints are playing for the pride of New Orleans - Reggie Bush runs all over Philadelphia.

Note: Renee can get right to the point...if you read her blog, you already know that.

Pogue says:
The Eagles will find that Drew Brees isn't Eli Manning. New Orleans is going to run McAllister between the tackles and burn the Eagles with screen passes to Reggie Bush and play action to take advantage of an Eagles secondary that will be without Lito Sheppard - Colston and Horn will have big games. Garcia looked ordinary against a weak Giants D - he's going to find things a lot tougher going against a Saints D that will be emotionally charged and looking to rip his head off. Take win big.

Scary thing: our girl Tina is picking the Eagles...that concerns me.


HAZEL'S THREE STARS
Toronto Maple Leafs RW Jeff O'Neill scores two goals to lead the "Marlies" to a 4-2 victory against the East leading Buffalo Sabres. Unbeleafable.

Anaheim Ducks RW Teemu Selanne had a hat-trick in Anaheim's 5-1 pasting of the Dallas Stars last night. Selanne steps up in the absence of Chris Pronger.

Minnesota Wild LW Brian Roltson had two goals and an assists to lead the Wild to a 5-2 win over the red hot Vancouver Canucks.

FRIDAY THREE PLAY
We had a decent night last night, recovering a bit from back to back bad nights. We ended up + $90 on the balance sheet - but our total for week is an abysmal - $520...we'll get it back before week's end.

Nashville over Columbus - Predators at home, that's all you need to know. Lay $100 on Nashville - $290.

Edmonton over Minnesota - the Wild struggle on the road and the Oilers are playing some good hockey. Lay $75 on the Oilers - $165.

That's it...we don't like the Jersey/Atlanta game.

That's it for today peeps - have a great one.


HAZEL'S FRIDAY HOROSCOPE
Today is all about being unique and following a different path. Don't let ridicule stop you from doing what you know in your heart is the right thing. A trip will pay off and a gift or winning is apparent. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - for Real Madrid and David Beckham

My Favourite Mistake - Sheryl Crow

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!