Weird & Whacked Wednesday

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

So we're a few hours late again, for new readers to the page, Wednesday entries take a look back at the week that was in the world of sports and highlight some of the more notable newsmakers and their stories. Generally, the stories fall under the category of the weird, the whacked, or the just plain dumb - I'll let you decide where you think each fits.

NFL

DO I HEAR AN EVEN DOZEN?
The count now stands at nine. Cincinnati Bengals CB Johnathan Joseph was arrested earlier this week and charged with possession of marijuana - making him the ninth Bengals' player arrested in nine months...an even dozen by April? The arrest comes three weeks after coach Marvin Lewis announced a new "get-tough" policy with players who get in trouble with the law or violate team rules. It will be interesting to see how Lewis handles the first incident to happen after his new tough stance - especially considering that Joseph was the Bengals' first overall draft pick last year.

File this one under just plain dumb - you finish your rookie season with a team that was an utter disappointment, a team that had a number of run ins with the law that resulted in arrests, and your embattled coach issues a statement saying that the country club atmosphere is over - and you are carrying pot around in a backpack? They should stand him in front of two of his teammates - this is your brain (Ocho Cinco), this is your brain on drugs (Chris Henry).


HE'S NOT MAD - HE'S GROUNDED
Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid spoke to the media yesterday, via conference call, to quash rumours that Eagles QB Donovan "Chunky Soup Lovin' Mama's Boy" McNabb was unhappy with the organization. McNabb was reportedly upset the Eagles wouldn't let him travel with the team to New Orleans for the NFC Divisional Playoff game; as well as suffering from a bruised ego because he felt some players on the team preferred backup Jeff Garcia as the starter. And what would a story about McNabb be without a reference to his mother? McNabb feels that his mother has been unfairly portrayed by the media and the fans.

File this one under whacked - for everything involved in the story. For Andy Reid cancelling one of McNabb's press conferences to not letting him fly with the team - if he is your leader, why wouldn't you want him there? Then you have McNabb, whining about whether his teammates like Garcia to complaining about how his mother is being protrayed. Seems to me like his mom has done everything to promote herself - and didn't even have the good sense to keep her pie hole shut about her son's team winning without him...she had to write about it in her blog. Part of me wishes that McNabb and his mom would just go away and eat their damn Chunky Soup - but the Dallas Cowboys fan in me worries that Jerry Jones would pick him up to play with T.O. again.


AMERICANS ARE SO FUNNY
On behalf of all Canadians, let me say we like you guys. We love the NFL, we love MLB, (some idiots up here love the NBA), we love some of your TV shows (Rescue Me and NESN's SportsDesk come to mind) - we'd like to think we understand you guys...but we will NEVER understand your damn legal system. You have guilty, not guilty by reason of insanity, not guilty...we get that; but throw in No Contest and now, the Alford Plea and we are just confused.

Former Minnesota Vikings WR Koren Robinson reached a deal with prosecutors to be sentenced on a single charge of fleeing police after leading officers on a high speed chase last August. Police agreed to drop a number of other charges related to drunk driving. Here's where it gets a little funny (for us Canadians)

"The Alford plea allows someone to acknowledge the evidence could result in a conviction, but doesn't have to admit guilt."

File this one under whacked - huh? You agree to be sentenced on a conviction but you don't admit guilt? How does this make sense? You acknowledge that the evidence could result in a conviction - that should be a given since you agreed to be sentenced - yet you don't have to admit you are guilty? Did Clinton ever enter an Alford Plea? I'm hoping my man Drisc can explain this to me - or friggin' DJames if he ever checks in here again!


DON'T DRINK THE WATER TANK
Chicago Bears DT Tank "Machine Gun" Johnson will be allowed to play in the Super Bowl; albeit with a warning from an Illinois judge to stay out of trouble. Johnson was granted permission to leave the state while await trial on gun possession charges. For those of you who haven't heard, this was Johnson's third arrest in the last 18 months - I think he would fit in nicely with the Bengals. Reports indicate that Johnson got a call from Ron Mexico yesterday, with the following advice "Don't drink the water Tank!"

File this one under whacked - you've gotta love those laws south of the border. When asked about the judgement, his defence attorney commented "He is a young man who is right now having the opportunity of a lifetime," - if she ever decides to stop practicing law, I'm sure she would have a future as Terrell Owens PR spokesperson.


SPEAKING OF RON MEXICO
Michael Vick was cleared of any wrongdoing after security at Miami International Airport confiscated a bottle of water he had - on the suspicion that it contained traces of marijuana. A newspaper had requested a copy of the video tape of the incident, but were told the tapes were erased.

This is just plain dumb - a bottle with a secret compartment, the owner refusing to give it up, suspicion of marijuana, and the evidence discarded. How about that homeland security initiative?


NHL

IF ITS BROKE - LEAVE IT BROKE
We know most of our readers don't care about hockey - but for those of you who do, the NHL Board of Governors have kicked you in the teeth again. Complaints about the NHL are at an all-time high; fans are complaining about the level of play, the lack of physical play in the game, and a schedule that pits division rivals against each other every second night (at least it feels that way). The NHL voted against changing their unbalanced schedule, meaning a division in the Western Conference will miss out on the likes of Crosby or Ovechkin (the two wonderkids the NHL is pinning its hopes on) or a visit from the Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadiens (two of the league's biggest draws). 11 of the 30 representatives voted against changing the schedule, meaning that Hazel will get to see the Maple Leafs, Canadiens and the SenaTards visit Boston four times next year.

File this one under just plain dumb - the NHL promotes divisional rivalries when their playoff format isn't divisional (meaning you could very well not meet a divisional rival in the playoffs); attendance in the league is way down, and the teams that need these draws the most will be denied good gates and much needed revenue. The NHL has bascially told their fans to kiss their old lily white cans - cuz its all about the money baby.


MAYBE ITS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY
The NHL unveiled the new generation jerseys made by Reebok - next year, every NHL team will be sporting the new jerseys, which represent a huge leap forward in the evolution of hockey equipment. Commissioner Gary Bettman told the media that the new jerseys were not about money, but rather improving the performance of NHL players. The jerseys are lighter, retain less water, and are reported to increase skating speed by up to 14%. If want to feel like an NHLer, you can buy a personalized jersey for the bargain basement price of $425. Ah huh...not about the money.

File this one under weird - they unveil the jersey at their all-star showcase? They didn't want to talk about hockey? This is a combination of a cash-grab and a cover-up - to deflect attention from their product. Best quote about the new jerseys comes from San Jose Sharks D Scott Hannan who said, "They say it will improve speed up to 14%, I've only seen an 8% increase so far."

For those of you that care - the Western Conference beat the Eastern Conference by a score of 12-9 at last night's NHL All-Star game. No three stars on this one - most of them floated out there tonight.

That's it for this morning gang - have a great one peeps!

Happy Birthday "Vo"

HAZEL'S THURSDAY HOROSCOPE
A lesson can be learned today that will help you in the future. You can make a change to your regular routine that will help you become more efficient. If someone you used to know is still on your mind, contact this person. 3 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - wake up song

Crucial - K-Os

All around my home town
They tryin' to chop me down
But the truth shall not forsake me
Lift me up to higher ground
And you
You're the light when the feeling is dark

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!