Monday Hazies - The Champs & Chumps

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you who haven't been here before, The Hazies take a look back at the week that was in the world of sports and single out some of the outstanding performances. The lucky few are awarded a Hazie and have the title of "Hazel's Hero" bestowed upon them - which is better than any recognition they may have gotten. While Hazel hasn't officially approved this week's winners, especially not from the NHL we would like to think that she'd give her trademark smile and thumbs up to our picks.

HAZEL'S HEROES - THE CHAMPS NHL
The NHL named the three stars of the week today - one of these three doesn't belong on the page...guess who?

Calgary Flames G Miikka Kiprusoff was named the First Star for leading the Flames to three straight road victories; Kiprusoff posted a goals against average of 1.30, with a .959 save percentage. What made Kiprusoff's week all the more impressive was that he won back to back games in Minnesota against a Wild team that has been lights out at home this year - he absolutely stonewalled the Wild in a 1-0 shutout win to start the week; and then he finished it off with a 32 save performance against the Canucks in a 3-2 win at GM Place last Saturday night. "Kipper" has Flames fans thinking about another run at the Cup.

Florida Panthers C Olli Jokinen was named the Second Star for leading the Panthers to a 3-0-1 record; Jokinen, the most under-appreciated player in the NHL, had a goal and six assists in his four games. The guy is without a doubt one of the best players in the league - unfortunately for him, he doesn't get the recognition he deserves playing in Florida.

Detroit Red Wings G Dominik Hasek was named the Third Star for backstopping the Wings to a 2-0-1 record with a 1.30 goals against average and a .951save percentage - the question we have is, "When will he quit on his team?" The former SenaTard hasn't flaked out on the Wings - "yet" is the word coming from the SenaTards Army..."He hasn't flaked out on them YET."

Any idea who doesn't belong on this post?

The NHL also announced the Three Stars for the month of March - no arguments with the nominees; though we wonder if NESN's Jack Edwards will skip over one of them.

Colorado Avalanche G Peter Budaj was named the First Star, going 10-0-2 and posting a goals against average of 2.24 and a .910 save percentage. A few weeks back we said the Avs were dead - Budaj did his best to try and prove us wrong.

San Jose Sharks C Joe Thornton was named the Second Star, leading all NHL scorers with five goals and nineteen assists in 14 games. Thornton's play is a big reason why Sharks RW Johnathan Cheechoo has been heating it up of late - still though, there is one person in Boston who liked the trade last year; we say that because he hasn't gone on record as saying that, in hindsight, it was a bad trade.

Tampa Bay Lightning C Vincent Lecavalier was named the Third Star, scoring ten goals and twelve assists in 14 games - Lecavalier is the biggest reason for the Lightning's success this year; bad for Leaf Nation, but we like Vinny.

I forgot to mention this last week - but Florida Panthers C Dan Gratton became the youngest man to hit the 1,000 game mark in NHL history. Gratton has never matched the expectations he came into the league with - but if you play 1,000 games, you have to be doing something right. For the record, we've always liked Gratton - he's always worked hard and rarely takes a night off...even if his career stats don't show it.

THE JUNOS
The Hazies are about sports - but we would be remiss if we didn't highlight the weekend our girl Nelly Furtado had at the Junos (the Canadian Music Awards). Nelly, the epitome of a champ, took down five awards this weekend - establishing herself as one of the most important figures in the Canadian music industry. Not bad for a girl whose family emigrated from Porto Formoso, Sao Miguel, Acores. Way to go Nelly...your porkchop peeps are proud of you.


HAZEL'S ZEROS - THE CHUMPS NHL
We haven't stopped hating Buffalo Sabres coach Lindy Ruff for the crap he pulled on Saturday night at the Bell Centre in Montreal, sitting starter Ryan Miller in favour of Ty Conklin. While Ruff will use the excuse that he wanted to give Miller a rest - Leaf Nation isn't buying it, especially when he has games against Boston and Washington coming up this week; Ruff's decision clearly shows that he is a weasel with little integrity and even less scruples - then again, doesn't that sum up his playing career? Obviously Lindy don't believe in Karma - luckily we do, and we wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Ryan Miller went down with an injury this week, forcing Ty Conklin to start the playoffs - how sweet would that be?


New York Rangers winger Peter Prucha (heretofore known as Peter Peckerhead) provided a shining example of why the NHL has to smarten up and institute no-touch icing. A number of vocal personalities connected to the NHL have been calling for no touch icing, claiming that NHL defencemen are at risk of serious injury from forwards who take them into the boards when they are racing for the puck. Last night against Toronto, Prucha was racing for a puck with Leafs D Carlo Colaiacovo when he saw he wasn't going to make it; instead of easing up, Prucha decided to slew foot Colaiacovo, sending him crashing into the boards awkwardly - how Colaiacovo wasn't more seriously hurt is beyond me. However, make no mistake - it was a cheap play; one that happens all too often in a league where fighting is seen to be the ultimate evil. Wake up NHL.


EUROPEAN FOOTBALL
We go to Italy tonight; Rome to be more specific. UEFA's Champion League Quarter-finals go this week, with Roma hosting Cristiano Ronaldo and his Red Devils of Manchester United. If you haven't heard me say it enough - the Portuguese superstar is tearing up Europe this season, and is the man other teams look to shut down. A couple of chumps from Roma decided that, with Ronaldo coming to Rome this week, it would be a good time to issue a warning.

Roma defender Christian Panucci was quoted as saying that "Ronaldo always exaggerates his falls." This is particularly funny coming from a goddamned Italian - at the last World Cup in Germany, Italy was cited for no less that 40 dives in their seven games. Of course Panucci probably didn't know that since his dumb ass never got on the field at the tournament (he might not even have been part of the roster). Think before you talk about the best player on the planet - the one who is going to make you look like the horse's ass you have proven to be.

Not to be outdone, Brazilian midfielder Mancini (might as well be a goddamned Italian with a name like that) also piped in to say that "he (Ronaldo) is protected by referees. I don't think he will be on Wednesday." Muinto obrigado Mancini - you know this because...you watch him on television? Yes, that must be it - because a check of your career stats shows ZERO caps for your country, meaning you aren't playing for the National Team and you haven't played him in Europe yet. Mancini, a word of advice; you play in a league where diving is not only accepted, it is applauded - your superstar Francesco Totti the the Greg Louganis of European Football (when he isn't spitting in the face of opponents) - cala esta boca homen, nao seijas ignorante.

I am going to take great pleasure in watching Ronaldo shred these clowns on Wednesday.

That's about it for tonight gang - have a great one peeps.

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world - tough start to the 2007 season for both of us.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - for our girl Nelly
On The Radio - Nelly Furtado

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!