Friday, December 16, 2005

How's That Sunday Ticket Workin' For Ya?

Hey Peeps, and anyone else checking in for NFL picks courtesy of "Thoughts of Hazel Mae" - should I say "Hazel-inspired" NFL picks? Whatever the case...thanks for stopping by; this is the week...I think. Before I get started, a special "hey" goes out to Ms. Hazel Mae.

Still sick...hopped up on Green Tea with Lemon, Honey and a whole lot of Brandy and Benedictine.

Three NFL games on tap for Saturday, at least four more on Sunday (certain parts of Ontario will get up to six different games) and the Monday nighter...all this without NFL Sunday Ticket. So if you were one of the people that plunked down a couple hundred bucks to be able to see your favourite team every Sunday...I simply say this - become a Cowboy fan...we have gotten almost every game on free t.v.

Before I go on to the week's picks, I should say two things:

1) Hazel has not provided her picks or opinions on this week's throw your rotten tomatoes at me if they are terrible picks;

2) The Magic 8 Ball was consulted but not deferred to - for each game, the question to the 8 Ball was - Will (team I selected) cover the spread against (opposing team)

Picks based on spreads locked on Wednesday

16) Carolina -7.5 over NEW ORLEANS - everything about this game screams "What are you nuts? Stay the hell away from it." But that doesn't scare me...and I bet it would scare Hazel either - call me dumb, call her gutsy.
  • Carolina are road wimps - but they came off a very bad home loss to the Bucs...they have to respond with a big time win against an inferior opponent.
  • Old gambler's saying: Monday night losers are next Sunday's winners - but Jim Haslett just benched Aaron Brooks...if they were bad with Brooks, how bad are they going to be with backup?
Carolina is going to win big here, their D will hold the Saints to 13 points or less. I see Carolina by 11. On another note, while some may be applauding Haslett for his decision to bench Brooks, I think it sucks that he does it in a game against a team that is looking at playoffs. Hey Jim...ever hear of karma? One day it'll come back to bite you...some team is going to do to you - what you are doing to the Falcons and other playoff-bound NFC teams. Is Haslett trying to enter the Reggie Bush Sweepstakes?

Straight up pool - Carolina for 13, they will definitely win.

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - YES

15) Cincinnati -7.5 over DETROIT - Carson Palmer came off a miserable game against Cleveland (he really let Hazel Mae's Cowboy down) - he is going from the cold and wind of Cincinnati to a climate controlled dome in Pontiac, Michigan. Chad Johnson has been relatively quiet for a couple of weeks. Everything says that the Bengals are going to blow out a Lions team that has checked out, and is looking to next year. Bengals super quick D will make it a long afternoon for Garcia and the rest of the Lions. Bengals by 17.

Straight up pool - Cincinnati 14

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - It is certain

14) Pittsburgh -3.5 over MINNESOTA - The fallout of "Tub Rub" has shaken things up in Minnesota...players are answering too many moral questions about the event. Also consider that Minnesota's Brad Johnson hasn't faced a defence like the Steelers - they aren't the Detroit Lions. Minnesota's D hasn't faced a rushing attack like the Steelers...this number is based on Minnesota's performance against some weak's midnight for Cinderella Man Brad Johnson. Steelers by 10 points.

Straight up pool - Pittsburgh 7

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Without a doubt

13) ST. LOUIS -3.5 over Philadelphia - The Eagles came up with a great effort last week against a divisional rival. This week its the greatest show on turf - I don't think the Eagles D has the team speed to run with the Rams. I also see Jackson getting a lot of work and lots of room to run against a depleted Eagles D. Moats and McMahon had their moment last week, this week will be a different story. Rams by 6.

Straight up pool - St. Louis 8

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - You may rely on it

12) BUFFALO +9.5 over Denver - The Bills got spanked and embarrassed by the Pats last week...expect the D to respond. Also, Kelly Holcomb is playing and the Bills seem to respond better to him. Jake Plummer manages games; he hands the ball off and throws a few passes - he is NOT going to lead his team to a 10+ point victory on the road against a good D like the Bills. Holcomb keeps the Bills in the game. Denver by 6.

Straight up pool - Denver 10

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Very Doubtful

11) MIAMI -8.5 over N.Y. Jets - The Dolphins are charging (no pun intended against S.D). The Jets are still going with Bollinger, but without Curtis Martin - Miami eats Bollinger up. Miami runs the ball down N.Y.'s throats, Gus Frerotte hits Chambers and MacMichael (playing this week for Hazel Mae's Cowboys) for a TD or two. Miami by 13

Straight up pool - Miami 15

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - It is certain

10) Dallas +2.5 over WASHINGTON - The momentum from last week's win over "never mind" (see Hazel? I'm not rubbing it in) will carry over to this week against a very ordinary Redskins team that has feasted on chumps. Dallas owes Washington for the Monday night game we have not forgotten. Hazel Karma should be back with Bledsoe this week...right Hazel? Plus, Cowboys play close games, most under 7 points. Dallas wins by 4.

Straight up pool - Dallas 5

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Signs point to yes

09) NEW ENGLAND -4.5 over Tampa Bay -
Tom Brady and the Patriots in December... Lil Simms, and the Bucs in the snow and cold of New England riding a cadillac with no snow tires. Seriously... the Pats are almost unbeatable in December they gearing up for playoffs and another shot at Peyton... Give me Brady anytime. Pats win by 11

Straight up pool - New England 9

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Outlook not so good

08) Atlanta +2.5 over CHICAGO - Both teams are one-dimensional in terms of offence, both teams live by the run. Atlanta is the number 1 rushing team in the league, plus they have Ron Mexico running over Kyle Orton. Atlanta plays field position all day and wins by 3

Straight up pool - Atlanta 4

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Signs point to yes

07) Seattle -7.5 over TENNESSEE - The Seahawks are on a roll and I don't see Holmgren letting up one bit. With the crap that Haslett is pulling against the Panthers, the Seahawks will be going full tilt to keep that number 1 ranking in NFC. Seattle's receiving corps is now healthy and in tact...Shaun Alexander is coming off, what for him was a sub-par week. Seahawks by 10.

Straight up pool - Seattle 12

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Very Doubtful

06) Kansas City +3.5 over N.Y. GIANTS - Did you catch Larry Johnson against Dallas last week? Did you see Trent Green? they were ALMOST unstoppable. Their D looks good enough to hold them in it until Green pulls it out for them. Giants missing two starters on D...Eli is in a rough stretch. Ok...Kansas City - Hazel Mae - apologizing for last week - Giants ahead of Dallas by a game...put all these together and you have me picking the Chiefs for selfish reasons AND sucking up to Hazel. That's what I call the Daily Double. Kansas City wins by 3

Straight up pool - Kansas City 3 (see above explanation)

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Reply Hazy, ask again later (I swear!) then Outlook not so good (but hey, this is Thoughts of Hazel Mae - damn the 8 Ball)

05) INDIANAPOLIS -7.5 over San Diego - I hate this game. But I see the Colts relishing a chance to step on the throats of a team that was very highly regarded and seen as a potential threat to the Colts and Pats. The Colts may lose a game, but it won't be this one...they'll want to bounce S.D out of the playoff race, or at least put them on life-support. Indy wins by 10.

Straight up pool - Indianapolis 11

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Don't count on it (see why I hate this game?)

04) Green Bay -3.5 over BALTIMORE - Boller can't generate any offence, Jamal Lewis is done and the Ravens just don't score. The D is fine, but in what is being touted as quite possibly Brett Favre's last Monday night game - I think he comes up big and pulls one out for the Pack. G.B by 8.

Straight up pool - Green Bay 1

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Outlook not so good

03) OAKLAND -3.5 over Cleveland - Kerry Collins is back...ummmm Randy Moss...ummm Lamont Jordon...ummmm Charlie Frye? ummmmm I DON'T FREAKIN' KNOW. It is the Bengals and the Raiders. I can't see Cleveland winning in Oakland - home field is good for three points. Oakland by 4

Straight up pool - Oakland 6

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - It is certain

02) JACKSONVILLE -15.5 over San Francisco - I know the 49ers are terrible and I know that the Jags D is one of the best in the league. I know, I know. The Jags just don't score - if the 49ers get lucky and score a you think the Jags can come up with 23 to cover? I rest my rather weak case. Jags by 10

Straight up pool - Jacksonville 16

01) HOUSTON +1.5 over Arizona - Yes, Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin are being counted on to lead Hazel's Cowboys this week...and they will. But Houston is playing better, they are bound to win think Dominick Davis wants to keep hearing about Reggie Bush? Houston by 3

Straight up pool - Houston 1

The Magic 8 Ball's response was - Outlook not so good.

So there you have it, my week 15 picks - use them at your own peril. I'm kidding, I like my picks this week, they are solid. Remember, I always win one week...I'm due.

Have a great one peeps...thanks for taking the time to step in (feel free to post your picks on the yahoo site).

Hazel, hope things are groovy in your world...have a great NFL weekend! Remember, Leafs and Senatards tomorrow...GO LEAFS GO!

Before I forget...

On the ninth day of Christmas I wish Hazel would give to me - nine decent Dodgers to give us fans something to cheer about.

That's it...The Economics of RAMADA will be posted this weekend...really. Don't believe the Coco Crisp to Boston stuff. Damon in CF, Manny in LF, and Miggy at SS.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - for all of us NFL Fans...going back to 80's

I Just Can't Get Enough - Depeche Mode

Peesth out!


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