I'm Not Gettin Miggy With It

Hey Peeps, and anyone else checking - from those of you that have been here before and know what Wednesdays are about on this blog - to those of you that have happened upon this page for the first time and are wondering to yourself,"What the...?" . As always, a special hey goes out to Ms. Hazel Mae.

For those of you that haven't been here before, Wednesday entries look back at the weird, the whacked and the downright silly from the world of sports over the past seven days or so - comments on this weeks highlights, or suggestions on what I may have missed are always welcome.

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

IT IS GETTING UGLY FOR UGGIE
I don't know if any of you have been following the case of Ugueth Urbina, former Montreal Expos closer (and a bunch of other teams - Philadelphia Phillies of late) - Uggie has been accused of trying to kill 5 hired hands at his ranch outside Caracas. Urbina and some friends allegedly tried to kill these people after suspecting they stole from him. Urbina claims its all about money...and went on to say when this is all over, he might just move to Miami and visit Caracas once a year...saying "It's like something is telling me not to live here." Gee Uggie...DO YOU THINK?

"IDIOT" IN A PADDED CELL?
In the category of "What kind of a stupid story is this? What is the point of it?" Reports out of Boston say that the Dodgers have expressed interest in Boston Red Sox CF Johnny "Jesus" Damon. So the whacked part is partly that the Herald runs a story to say "Hey, someone is interested in Johnny Damon...but they don't think they are going to get him." (umm...okaaaaay and the point is?) The other part of the whacked equation is that the Dodgers would even sign Damon. They just got rid of Milton Bradley, from all reports a pain in the ass - but still a very good ballplayer, because he couldn't get along with Jeff Kent. Now, take a look at Johnny Damon...really, do you think that an uber tight-ass like Jeff Kent is going to put up with Johnny's schtick? Johnny's quirks? God, its Jeff Kent...you stick a lump of coal up his bum and its a diamond in about a week to 10 days.

A finally comment on the Bradley stuff...you shouldn't always believe everything you read. I'm sure Hazel would back me up on that one - right?

FIRED YOU SAY? I WONDER WHY...
Sorry, no link for this one - but last week, former NY Mets G.M. Steve Phillips (a TSN insider) claimed that the Blue Jays were shopping Eric Hinske around - and the downright silly part you may be asking yourself - there are teams that are actually interested! Yes, teams are interested in Eric Hinske...I want names Steve - names I say! Oh yeah, and if its true, and the Chickenhawk doesn't unload him...he should be canned immediately. Or you can wait til after B.J. Ryan becomes the Jays 7th and 8th inning stopper and A.J. hits the DL again.

BOSTON'S NEWEST RAMADA IN THE WORKS?
Ok, right now I am the only one who thinks this - fine. Red Sox Nation is discussing every possible trade scenario that could get Manny Ramirez out of town and Miguel Tejada into Fenway - don't waste your time. Ramirez isn't going anywhere, not anytime soon - and Tejada WILL be in Boston by spring. There are a few reasons Ramirez won't be going anywhere - the primary one being that HE gets to veto any trade, so you can all forget Baltimore - and if he thinks Boston is tough, what makes you think he'll like New York any better? Even with the Mets...nope, Manny is staying in Boston.

I read today that Ramon Hernandez, the O's newest signing, claims that Tejada gave him to go ahead to sign in Baltimore "great team, great city, great organization..." ya, so great that he wants out. Look Red Sox Nation...you can get Tejada - don't let Mike Flanagan's posturing about the O's building a winner (I fell for that crap last year) and the Sox claim that they can't afford Tejada dissuade you from keeping pressure on them to make the trade happen. Speculation is that Boston has roughly $22 M in salary room (which would be the value of Tejada...oooh look, a "discounted" Johnny Damon too). Boston can make the trade happen...with the right mix of prospects they can. What choice do they have now? With Javier Vasquez going to Chicago, with talk of Nomar going to the evil empire...Boston has to respond - signing Johnny won't be enough...Tejada has got to come. More on that later this week on "The Economics of RAMADA -bringing RAMirez and tejADA together."

Speaking of the O's...if you care to read - former Baltimore pitcher Sidney Ponson starts a five day jail sentence...I'd write more, but, well, ummm, it's Sidney Ponson - if you really wanna know or are curious, hit the link.

FORGET THE BRONX CHEER - HOW ABOUT THE ROMAN SALUTE?
Paolo Di Canio of Serie A's Lazio got himself into trouble last week with a stiff-armed salute to fans of the Italian Soccer Club after a game against Livorno. Di Canio was immediately admonished for the salute - he responded by stating that he expected Lazio's management to step in and defend him against charges of using a Nazi-salute to acknowledge facist fans in the stands. Well, Lazio's management team didn't step in...but the wife of the Deputy PM did - and she claims that Di Canio's gesture was actually a Roman Salute. Ya, ok - and Cristiano was just scratching his temple last Wednesday night in Lisbon.

"TWO" INFINITY AND BEYOND
Buzz Lightyear...oops - U.S. Sprinter, and former "World's Fastest Man" Tim Montgomery (husband of U.S. Sprinter Marion Jones) was banned from the U.S. Track and Field team for two years AND had all of his results from the past five years wiped out (including a former world record in the 100M) - including prize money (which the IAAF is reportedly going after). After learning of the 2 year ban - Montgomery was quoted as saying "I'm done." His coach doesn't think so and thinks Tim can come back in two years and be just as good. You can read the whole story - I will sum it up in one word - BALCO...but like Tim's coach says, he can come back (no mention on whether or not BALCO would be part of the new Team Montgomery).

Somewhere in Toronto, Mr. Ben Johnson must be smiling.


ADDITION BY SUBTRACTION
Here is a weird one for you. The Boston Bruins get three very good players in a trade for an underperforming, weak-leading, slow and tired Joe Thornton...great trade for Boston - right Jack Edwards? Two weeks later, the Sharks (who everyone knew would be good - with or without Joe) have won five straight and are zooming up NHL Power Rankings; and the Bruins (who many of us thought might be good) have lost three in a row and are easing their way into the low-rent district of the NHL. "The Real Deal" - "The Interesting Paradox" and "The Bad Loser" are just what Boston ordered...What do all those dumb Canadian hockey analysts and writers know? It wasn't a bad trade for Boston...not at all. Joe had to go! Right Boston? (Apologies to Hazel)

THE DYNAMIC DUDS
A few years back - fans of the Ottawa "Senatards" claimed that they had the best duo between the pipes; that as a tandem Patrick Lalime and Martin Prusek were the NHL's best (with the standard line that "Prusek could start for most teams") - well, they have both been released. Enough said.

ENOUGH ALREADY
Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun can't seem to let the Mike Danton saga go - Simmons must be going through a dry spell...he keeps writing about this sad mess, telling us what we have already heard. The story is sad...and Simmons is on his way to be there - "sad". Steve, take a friggin cab down to the ACC and find a Leaf or Raptor story to hate on or critcize. Please.

Speaking of the ACC...Jan. 6, Raptors - floor level seats...nice. Only because they are freebies.

Well, I think that about does it for this week's installment...I'm sure news for next week's post is being made as I type.

Thanks for taking the time to visit...have a great on peeps (don't forget to hit yahoo site for poll - number of votes going up thank you!)

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world...Winter in Ontario sucks in case you have forgotten.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - because Red Sox Nation refuses to embrace the "RAMADA" principle...instead opting for the much more obvious "Getting Miggy With It". I give you a song that I don't really care for and will NEVER be part of a Hazelspeeps Greatest Hits collection.

Gettin' Jiggy With It - Will Smith

Peesth out!