Monday, March 12, 2007

The Hazies - The Champs & Chumps

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you who haven't been here before, The Hazies take a look back at the week that was in the world of sports and single out some of the outstanding performances. The lucky few are awarded a Hazie and have the title of "Hazel's Hero" bestowed upon them - which is better than any recognition they may have gotten. While Hazel hasn't officially approved this week's winners, we would like to think that she'd give her trademark smile and thumbs up.


HAZEL'S HEROES - THE CHAMPS


NHL

New York Rangers G Henrik Lundqvist was named the league's First Star of the Week after posting a 3-0-1 record with a 1.43 goals against average and a save percentage of .948. On behalf of Leafs Nation we'd like to give Lundqvist the raspberry - where does he get off dragging the Rangers back into the playoff hunt?

Chicago Blackhawks LW Jeff Hamilton was named the Second Star of the Week for scoring three goals and four assists in two games. We'd like to take issue with this one, he scored five points against an awful Phoenix Coyotes team that came off a brutal road trip - plus, two games make a week? Give me a break.

San Jose Sharks G Evgeni Nabokov was named the Third Star of the Week after posting a 2-0-1 record with a 0.66 goals against average and a save percentage of .976. We have no problem with this one - mainly because he is also a member of Hazel's Maeple Leafs in the yahoo pool.

Ok, maybe Hazel wouldn't give her thumbs up to two of the three winners - but we didn't pick them. Here's a couple of guys we know Hazel would give the thumbs up to.

New Jersey Devils G Martin Brodeur won his 40th game of the season last week - the sixth time he has done that in his brilliant career; Brodeur is also the only goals to do it in consecutive seasons more than once. He has been a Leaf killer for much of his career, but there are times when you just have to tip your hat and call him "Daddy". (Ok Red Sox Nation, that was a reference to Pedro).

Pittsburgh Penguins C Sidney Crosby recorded his 100th point of the season last week - one of the few players to accomplish the feat twice before his 20th birthday - you can probably guess who the others were...which shows you what kind of company he is in.

Colorado Avs C Paul Statsny set a rookie record for consecutive games with at least a point - eclipsing his father Peter's mark on the way; 18 straight games with at least a point - there is a champ in the making.

Toronto Maple Leafs LW Darcy Tucker re-introduced himself to fans at the ACC with a two goal performance against the SenaTards on Saturday night - including the overtime winner. You may be asking yourself if that is enough to get him a Hazie and be named one of Hazel's Champs? Well, first off - we like revisiting Saturday's heroic performance by the good guys; second, as far as we know, Hazel is still a member of Leafs Nation - so she'd probably say "Hell ya...chill out and lay off Darcy."


HAZEL'S ZEROES - THE CHUMPS


NHL


New York Rangers C Ryan Hollweg - the recipient of Chris Simon's home run swing. This guy has gotten off scot free for the cowardly hit from behind he laid on Simon last week - I guess getting a stick in the chops buys you some sympathy with most fans; not here though. Hollweg should have been called for a penalty on that hit - and with news that he did the same thing in yesterday's game against Carolina...its becoming his trademark. A little weasel that hits from behind - Hollweg, here's hoping that one of the league's tough guys gives you what you so richly deserve...a broken jaw the old fashioned way, with a right cross to the chops.

Montreal Canadiens D Francis Bouillon - in a game against the Thrashers last week, Bouillon was in the midst of being deked out of his jockstrap by Marian Hossa; Bouillon did what every other below average dirty defenceman does, he stuck out his knee and tried to take the Thrashers winger out with a cheap shot. Karma being the bitch that it is, Bouillon had it handed to him a bit later when Keith Tkachuk pounded him, sending him to the ice with a right cross to the button.

Montreal Canadiens RW Sergei Samsonov and the rest of the Management team - Samsonov was today as saying he regrets signing with the Habs, and went on to trash the organization for how they handled him. For those of you that haven't followed "Sammy" in Montreal, he has a grand total of five goals this year...how would he like to be handled? To Montreal's management team? Didn't I say here a month ago that he should NEVER wear the jersey again? You guys made a $7M mistake - it looks great on you...Montreal Canadiens tradition...meh!


MLB

Boston Red Sox RF J.D (DL) Drew - the Boston Herald published a piece on Drew and why he decided to exercise the escape clause in his contract to leave Los Angeles and become a free agent. In what I can only described as a useless piece of drivel - Drew provided a heartfelt account about how he didn't feel loved by the Dodgers, they never told him they wanted him to stay; then Drew talked about how he and his wife prayed for guidance on what to do, because he didn't want to leave a place he loved playing in - lucky Scott Boras was there to remind him of his escape clause and his option to test free agency.

Well J.D. you useless piece of crap - they didn't tell you they wanted you to stay because they figured that with 3 years and $33M left on the deal...it was understood. They gave you $55M reasons why they loved you - granted, it doesn't match up with the $70M Esptein was stupid enough to invest in you. Beware Drew, Red Sox Nation is tough - they won't put up with your history of hangnails and owies that keep you on the bench. You have screwed every team you have ever been associated with - I'm betting you do it again. Karma can be a bitch J.D. - here's hoping she rains all over you in Boston. I hope they boo your sorry ass right out of Fenway.

That's about it for tonight gang - Have a great one peeps!

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - for my pal Renee, who is on a bit of a vacation from the peeps..."her peeps" on yahoo - enjoy the vacation my friend...we'll see you for the baseball draft. Oh yeah, I'm gonna spank your ass again this year. I don't know why this song reminds me of my pal...it just does.

Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath thats true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
You'll come apart and youll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with whats not there.

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew

A stranger's light comes on slowly
A stranger's heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
I think its strange you never knew

Peesth Out..Buh Bye!

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