Monday, December 04, 2006

Monday's Hazies - The Champs & Chumps

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you who haven't been here before, Monday night entries take a look back at the week or so that was in the world of sports, highlighting some of the more notable performances. To those who have risen above the rest, we award them with an honourary "Hazie" - the lucky few have the title of "Hazel's Hero" bestowed upon them. While Hazel hasn't officially approved this week's winners, we'd like to think she'd give her trademark smile and thumbs up to our selections.



What can I say? Hazel Mae is a champ...but I've said that all along. She's probably too modest to accept an award named after her, so my pal Renee and I will accept on Hazel's behalf since she couldn't be here tonight to accept the honour.

The NHL announced its three stars today, and I don't think Hazel would have too much of a problem with this week's nominees...well, maybe a little since one of them is a former SenaTard.
New York Isles RW Viktor Kozlov was named the first star - Kozlov had seven goals and two assists in four games. Kozlov was one of Hazel's Three Stars this morning after scoring four goals against the Rangers last night.

Chicago Blackhawks G Nicolai Khabibulin was named the second star - the "Bulin" wall was 3-0 this week and had a save percentage of .925. In case you are wondering, yes it stings to honour Khabibulin...he was responsible for two losses in last week's Three Play.

Atlanta Thrashers RW Marian Hossa was named the third star - Hossa had four goals and four assists last week; including a big game against Hazel's Toronto Maple Leafs. When you couple his game against Toronto with the fact that he is a former SenaTard - maybe Hazel would have a bit of a problem with him.

One more mention of Anaheim's Scott Niedermeyer who played in his 1,000th career game last week against the Edmonton Oilers.

One star from the Ontario Hockey League - Oshawa Generals John Tavares was invited to try out for Canada's entry at this year's World Junior Hockey Championship - Tavares joins the likes of Wayne Gretzky, Eric Lindros, Jason Spezza and Sidney Crosby as a 16 year old invited to be in the team. Oh yeah, in case you were wondering - the "Next Great One" is a good Portuguese know the rule about Porkchops here.

New England RB Corey Dillon rushed for three TDs yesterday in a 28-21 win over Detroit. What made the day notable was that Dillon topped 11,000 career rushing yards; good enough for number 15 on the all-time list. You know Hazel would be down with handing out the hardware to Dillon.

New York Giants P Jeff Feagles started his 300th consecutive game yesterday against the Cowboys - I know he's just a punter, but to have a job in the NFL for 19 straight years is pretty damn impressive; side note: he's never had a punt blocked.

Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young makes the cut again this week. Young's win over the Colts yesterday means the Titans are 5-2 when the rookie starts. Pretty impressive for a guy who came into the season with more doubters than supporters.

Chicago Bears All-World punt returner Devin Hester returned another punt for a touchdown yesterday against the Vikings, tying an NFL record for most punt return TDs in a season. The rookie is a game breaker...or game saver if you are Rex Grossman.

Dallas Cowboys RB Marian Barber had two more touchdowns yesterday against the Giants, including a couple of big runs. Barber has become the Dallas' go-to back in the red zone and has responded by averaging 5.2 yards per rush and 11 TDs; while they don't compare to Larry Johnson or LaDainian Tomlinson, its still pretty damn good. Speaking of L.T. two more TDs yesterday and another 178 rushing yards - he is THE CHAMP.

Dallas Cowboys' coach Bill Parcells makes the cut for the quote of the day yesterday when discussing Martin Gramatica's game winning field goal - "Making that kick means that he can stay with the team." Classic!

Seattle's Josh Brown kicked his fourth last-minute game winning field goal against Denver last night. Four game winning kicks in the last minute is the sign of a champ.

My man Jae, who has been awarded one Hazie this year for scoring tickets the the Sox and Jays in September, makes the list again. My man finished 15th in a poker tournament that started off with close to 1,100 players. He busted out on a bad beat...but the kid's a champ when it comes to poker. Luckily, he doesn't check in here often - so I won't have to look at the smug smirk he'd have if he found out that he got a Hazie.

Washington Capitals' phenom Alexander Ovechkin made news last week for all the wrong reasons. Ovechkin was thrown out of Washington's game against Buffalo for a cheap, and very dangerous, hit from behind on Sabres C Daniel Briere that sent the little guy flying face first into the boards. Alex, as GM of Hazel's Maeple Leafs I have to say "Not cool man."

If you are a Chicago Bears fan, its time to start worrying. Rex Grossman had another forgettable day against one of the worst pass defences in the NFL. Grossman was 6 for 19, for 34 yards and 3 INTs. Grossman's passer rating was 1.3 after three quarters - finishing the game with a rating of 21.3. This team won't win the big one with him at the helm. Grossman's counterpart Brad Johnson was just as bad; the "manager" was 11 for 26, for 74 yards and 4 INT.

The New York Giants set a precedent with three chumps in one week - for actions before, during and after the loss to the Cowboys yesterday.
  • Before - Jeremy Shockey
  • for shooting off his big mouth guaranteeing a win; somebody should tell Shockey that he should win something before shooting his big mouth off.

  • During - Mathias Kiwanuka
  • for intercepting a Tony Romo pass and fumbling it without being touched...thank you Mathias.

  • After - Tom Coughlin
  • for responding to questions about his offence sputtering by saying "Ya, we missed some opportunities to score in the red zone...but if you check, so did they. They didn't score every time down." Great way to sum up your team's performance.

Ya, Hazel probably wouldn't be pleased with this next one...but hey, we call 'em like we see 'em. Boston Red Sox P Curt Schilling acted like a chump when he spoke to the "Pimp (Idiot) in the box" Jim Rome last week. Schilling couldn't keep his big mouth shut when he told Rome that in "his opinion" Manny Ramirez wanted out of Boston. Hey Curt, way to show everybody what a tight knit clubhouse the Sox have...Jerk.

Man, I'm really blowing it here with Hazel...but. Blue Jays GM "Chickenhawk" makes the list for the way he handled the Greg Zaun signing last week. If you hadn't heard, J.P. announced that the Blue Jays had signed a 2 year/$5M deal with C Rod Barajas, one to announce a couple of days later that the deal was off. J.P. turns around and signs Greg Zaun a couple of days later and tells the media that "Zaun was our first choice all along." Ya...ok J.P. - and you have a 5 year plan huh? Idiot

That's about it for tonight gang...have a great one peeps!

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - I'm really digging these dudes

Barely Listening - Pilate

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!


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