Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Red Sox Living On The Ledge..Giggles Orsillo Makes The PlayOffs Too!

The bahs in the Bronx and Beantown are filled with baseball sages that claim to know the answers albeit hooked up to IV bottles of their favorite beer or booze. Some of these people have a fucking Budweiser bag attatched to one arm and Jack Daniels or Irish whiskey tapped into their brain too while dispelling their prophecies to answerless souls.
Sports talk radio hosts are now qualified suicide prevention counselors talking Yankee or Red Sox fans off ledges daily. 911 actually now has an option when you call. Seriously.
You call:
911: If this is a real emergency press 1 now. If you are a Red Sox fan and your team has just lost press 2 now. If you are a Yankee fan and ARods bat has still not produced press 3 now.
Hit 2 or 3 and you get switched to a sports talk show host trained or medicated enough to calm you down through your crisis.

The Red Sox as I write hold a 1 1/2 game lead over the Yanks in the AL East.
Boston has dropped 4 straight,Yanks have won 4 straight.
Both were idle on Thursday allowing everyones livers a day to clean out and bars/liquor stores and pharmacies a chance to restock.

Whoever said that pitching wins ballgames sure in hell didn't see the Red Sox play lately.
They are paying the price for not adding a slugger at the trade deadline big time huh?
I admit I was one of those sox fans who got all excited about Eric Gagne coming to Boston.
Had no frigging clue that this guy would choke so bad. Eric wanted to get the ball in pressure situations. Well GagMe welcome to your Shangrila in Boston.
I honestly believe fans are secretly hoping that before the end of the season Gagne throws his
90 mile an hour meatball to Varitek and Gagnes arm is still attatched to the ball in the mitt.
Wouldn't that be cool?

Is Terry Francona using performance nonenhancing drugs? Anyone from MLB checking him for smoking dope or something? This guy is pissing me off! Everythings fine man. Its all groovy guys. Yeah Manny told me his hair was killing him and needs October off too. Guys those braids are TORTURE to wear,Kevin Cash cant hit water if he fell out of a boat,Gagne looks funny blowing games huh? Our offense is fine dude-the bats need to rest cuz they break.
HELLO? FRANCOMA? We want the AL East Flag and home field advantage. If you don't then we'll find someone with some testosterone to kick these Red Sox in the ass to step it up.

Bartender? Can you replace my Jack Daniels IV? Thanks.

Here's the deal. I hate this bullshit that Francona is just content to get in the playoffs. Lets win the AL East Title.

I'm tired of hearing yours so hear mine...

Red Sox at Tampa Bay for 3
The Red Sox play 3 at Tampa Bay and have Beckett-Dicey K and Schelling pitching.
Sox won't get Ramirez back but Youkilis and Crisp should be.
Prediction: Red Sox win 2 of 3.
Prediction #2: Raymond and the irritating Tampa heckler end up in a sex video.
I think the Sox will come back to life off the morgue slab. The day off helped big time.
The Sox get Mon. off while the Yankees have no more days off-they play a finale VS the Blue Jays.
Huge for the Sox.

Toronto at Yankees for 4
Both teams carrying 4 game win streaks into the series. They are both throwing their best pitchers at each other and I just cannot see either team sweeping.
Prediction : It'll be a split 2-2
Prediction #2 : Yankees are human and except for Matsui and Joba the hut, Nothing human is that damn ugly.

FINAL WEEK: Who Wants The AL East More?
Both the Yankees and Red Sox will have clinched a playoff spot entering the final week.
Ain't I good huh?
Now both teams will be looking to rest tired veteran full timers and align their playoff rotation.

Oakland vs Red Sox for 2
What a weird scheduling huh? A Hello G'Bye from Oakland?
Manny will be back for this series and Wakefield and Lester pitching both games.

Prediction: Sox 2 game sweep
Prediction 2: a riot if Francona allows Gagne to come on the field to pitch.

Yankees at Tampa Bay for 3
Yankees feeling human will go into TBay and they will win 2 of 3.
I think a Tampa Bay upset in one game will happen.
Prediction#2 The Tampa Bay Heckler is pregnant and reveals the father is Wally The Green Monster. Yep Raymond couldn't get it up.

Minnesota at Boston for 4
This gets fucked up because I would not be surprised by Francona playing this like a spring training series. Vets doing cameos. Rookies playing.
Prediction: Minnesota Red Sox split.
Red Sox win AL EAST TITLE!
Prediction #2 : Curt Shelling wears a mic and talks nonstop for 9 innings about nothing but Curt.
WEEI listeners fall immediately to sleep. Shelling is a verbal sleep aid.

Yankees at Baltimore for 3
Yanks sweep this but lose the AL East title and are excited . Wild Cards always win the World Series!
Prediction # 2: ARods bats show up for October courtesy of a stripclub dressing room in Tampa Bay.

Red Sox will have the best record in the AL and Theo will take the 5 game series format vs
Prediction#2: Angels announce they'll be the first MLB team to give out World Series cock rings if they win the WS title.


Yep the Giggler is in the post season too. NESNs Red Sox veteran play by play man Don
Orsillo will serve as a play by play man for TBS during the playoffs it was announced.
Orsillo who inherited the NESN Red Sox job from the popular Sean McDonough,is expected to work one of the NL series. He said during a Red Sox broadcast he does not know who he will have as his analyst but it was between Hall of Famers Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn.
Great thing for TBS viewers? You'll be spared Orsillos constant giggling throughout the broadcast. Of course The Giggler does work Red Sox games and has the Rem Dawg Jerry Remy
busting his balls all game long. Come to think of it too with his new bucks NESN contract
he signed this past season. Donnie Orsillo's giggling all the way to the bank.
He's getting his first well deserved shot at national broadcast oppurtunity.
I for one wish him well in his TBS stint and hope he gets a nice series to do .
He's earned it. Hee Hee Hee hee Ho Ho Hee Hee!


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