Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The most wonderful time of the year

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special “Hey” goes out to Hazel Mae if she is checking in on Leaf Nation’s favourite day of the year.

The Tards face elimination tonight at Scotiabank Place knowing full well that the last time they were swept, their legions of fans (aka Sens Army – or heretofore referred to as The Tards) demanded an public apology from the players, coaches and management for letting them down. Yes, you read that correctly – these retards actually DEMANDED a public apology for “allowing” themselves to be swept by the Toronto Maple Leafs.

For members of Leaf Nation living amongst the Tards one of our favourite days of the year occurs when the Tards get bounced out of the playoffs after yet another season of unfulfiled promise (their words…not mine). A few years back, one of the on-air personalities at a local sports radio station vowed to stay up after the game and take every single call from frustrated fans who wanted to talk. The year they were swept by the Leafs, the calls went all night and last well into the next day – the dude was EXHAUSTED by the time it was over. He has pledged to do the same this year, and Leaf Nation is hoping it is tonight.

For those of you in New England who listen to Glenn Ordway’s whiner line – you may want to have a listen to the Tards lamenting another disappointing season; a 100% money back guarantee if you don’t find it 100 times funnier than Ordway’s line. Go to team1200 dot com after the game tonight and have a listen. Unfortunately for our guy here – he won’t have the lovely Hazel Mae to present an award to the biggest whiner amongst the Tards.

With thoughts of yet another playoff disappointment for these jokers – we harken back to the Fan 590’s playoff song for the Tards, some of the names have changed, but the message remains the same. For those of you who haven’t heard it and want to sing along – the melody comes from Adam Sandler’s Chanuka Song. I give you - Three Cheers for Ottawa

Heres a little storyabout a hockey teamwho may just win the stanley cupbut only in there dreamsThe team is from ottawathe senators is there namesoon to be inducted in the golfing hall of famethey say they'll beat our leafersHA now there's a funny jokecause every year at playoff timethe senators always chokeSo 3 cheers for ottawaa real team they are nottawathey can give all that they gottawabut the stanley cup will never go to OttawaOttawa has their Parlamentand MPs in the newsand its kinda like their hockey teamthey talk a lot but don't producethere not the brightest eitherI really have to saywhen the capital of our countryspells Canada with a K (hey thats kanata)Oh 3 cheers for Ottawathey think they got a shottawathey must be smokin pottawacuz the stanley cup will never go 2 ottawau better press your flood pantsits that time once again2 here that familar ottawa senators sayingT off is at 10so get ready for the cryingtake out your hankerchiefyou're about to get your ass kicked by the toronto maple leafs (insert Malkin and Crosbyyyyyyy)Oooh 3 cheers 4 ottawaa lesson they'll be taughtawaHossa and Havlattawayoull soon be golfing alotawaWhat the hell else rhymes with Ottawanot a whole heck of alotawathere the team we already forgotawacuz the Stanley cup will never go to Ottawaaaaaaaa

The mood in the city is palable – somber - they know its over, it is going to be a long,beautiful summer of silence.

Finally, a good night, a perfect 3-0. The trend (if you can call it that) continues tonight with the following:

Los Angeles over Pittsburgh – Red Sox West P Brad Penny is off to an uncharacteristically slow start; the perfect cure for a pitcher in a funk is the Pittsburgh Pirates. Lay $100 on Big Blue - $220.

Atlanta over Florida – the Braves should avenge last night’s shutout loss to the Marlins with Tim Hudson on the mound; Hudson’s lifetime mark against the Marlins is 6-1; good enough for me. Lay $100 on the Braves - $165.

Detroit over Nashville – the Preds are coming off an improbable comeback win against the Wings in Game 3; that’s about all you can expect from them. Lay $100 on Detroit - $145.

That’s it for today gang – remember, team1200 dot com tonight.

Hazel, here’s hoping things are groovy in your world.

I’m Out!


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