Monday's Hazies - The Champs & Chumps

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you who haven't been here before, The Hazies take a look back at the week that was in the world of sports and single out some of the outstanding performances. The lucky few are awarded a Hazie and have the title of "Hazel's Hero" bestowed upon them - which is better than any recognition they may have gotten elsewhere. While Hazel hasn't officially approved this week's winners, we would like to think that she'd give her trademark smile and thumbs up to our picks.

HAZEL'S HEROES - THE CHAMPS NHL The old saying goes - "You earn your paycheck during the regular season and you earn your reputation in the playoffs." One guy who is making a name for himself is Ryan Getzlaf of the Anaheim Ducks. The 21 year old center has been a force throughout the playoffs - while his numbers won't wow you - three goals and five assists in eleven games - you just have to watch how he dominates on the ice;

• the kid creates scoring chances where there doesn't seem to be any,
  
• he uses his 6'3" 213 body to impose himself on the opposition's defenceman and create turnovers and scoring chances for his team, and
  
• he rarely makes mistakes that lead to scoring chances for the opposition.

It is no wonder that Brian Burke balked when the Oilers asked for Getzlaf as part of the Chris Pronger trade - this kid is a champ in the making.


MLB
Two members of the Oakland A's shared Player of the Week honors this week - 1B Dan Johnson hit .545 with three home runs, six runs batted in and ten runs scored - those numbers combined with a slugging percentage of 1.091 and an on base percentage of .630 make him an obvious choice.

OF Jack Cust stole some of Johnson's thunder though - the kid who was a minor league champ and somewhat of a major league bust had a week to remember. Cust hit .348 for the week with five home runs and thirteen runs batted in - somewhere in Ottawa, my man Andrew is smiling and saying "I told you this guy could hit" - Jack Cust was Andrew's roto-league bitch for years...his prized prospect when he was with the Rockies, he never made it to Andrew's NL Roto Team - but hey, he's in the show now.

Cincinnati Reds OF Ken Griffey Jr. was named the National League Player of the Week - Jr. hit .400 for the week with three home runs and nine runs batter in; to round out his exceptional week, Griffey posted a slugging percentage of .760 and an on base percentage of .484 - luckily his big week didn't kill Red Sox West. The highlight of Griffey's week was passing Rafael Palmeiro on the all-time home run list.

Speaking of Red Sox West - Brad Penny is off to an Josh Beckett-like start for the Dodgers. Penny was 2-0 last week with an earned run average of 0.68 and eighteen strikeouts. In case you are wondering - YES, Penny is a member of the Maeple Leafs...thanks to a trade with my girl Renee; thank you Renee!

Boston Red Sox DH David Ortiz came out swinging last week - not so much with his bat, but with his words. Ortiz lambasted members of the media for misrepresenting statements he made about steroid use - and he called out everyone in the media. Gotta love that guy - he takes on any and all comers.


EUROPEAN FOOTBALL
There are many ways to measure a man's greatness (pardon the pun...you'll see why) - a German company tried to immortalize German Internationals Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn and it cost them big. German sex toy manufacturer "Beate Uhse" lost a judgement in a lawsuit brought forth by Ballack and Kahn, it seems the manufacturer produced a couple of vibrators and named them after the German stars. Ballack and Kahn didn't comment on the case - but I am reminded of a sports story from a book by Sparky Lyle "The Bronx Zoo". Lyle recounted a story about one of the first female reporters who entered the Yankees locker room - there was a special event (a birthday party I think) and the Yankees had ordered a cake in the shape of a penis. The reporter asked former Yankees 3B Craig Nettles if the cake was his idea - Nettles responded by saying "No I just posed for it".


HAZEL'S ZEREOS - THE CHUMPS

NHL
Ottawa SenaTards Captain Daniel Alfredsson (aka to Leaf Nation as Krusty the Klown) had been lauded for the game he has brought to this year's playoffs - especially the physical aspect. Canadian announcers, especially guys like Pierre McGuire, are gushing about how Alfredsson is imposing himself this year - one problem, he continues to register his biggest and most devastating hits from behind. Last Saturday night in Buffalo was a prime example of how Alfredsson has been physical force - he planted Sabres D Henrik Tallinder into the boards face first with a hit from behind - I've counted at least four this year that should have been penalties. Leaf Nation is used to Alfredsson's act - we've seen this from him before...just ask Darcy Tucker.

MLB
Boston Red Sox P Curt Schilling got himself into another controversy last week calling out Barry Bonds and making accusations about how Bonds conducts his business off the field. We talked about it last week - so no need to elaborate on why Schilling is on the list this week.

We gave J.P. Ricciardi the business last week - this week its Manager John Gibbons turn. Gibbons has never struck us as the brightest star in the sky...and he really illustrated that yesterday. Gibbons was questioned after yesterday's Devil Rays/Jays game for a decision he made late in yesterday's game. Gibbons elected to lift C Jason Phillips to pinch hit light hitting SS John MacDonald (who was in a 1 for 25 slump) - when asked after the game why he chose MacDonald over Phillips or even Alex Rios who was on the bench (he is one of the Jays top run producers), Gibbons answered "I have my reasons". When asked to share his reasons, Gibbons replied "I don't have to tell you everything." and walked away. J.P. swears John is a great manager...then again J.P. thinks he's a great GM. How would YOU like to be a Blue Jays fan?


NFL
Green Bay Packers QB Brett Favre made news this week when it was revealed that he demanded a trade after expressing his displeasure with the Pack's management for not acquiring Oakland WR Randy Moss - Favre backpeddled on the issue saying that he never really wanted to be traded, but wanted to voice his displeasure. Maybe Favre should contact Schilling about setting up a 7throws.com site to issue an apology to Green Bay's fans. Favre tried to explain by saying that he wants to win now - he isn't interested in Green Bay's long-term plan to get back to being a contender "I won't be here in five years" - this won't come as a surprise to anyone that has read this page during NFL season - our response to Brett is "yes, you won't be there in five years...so take a hint and retire. They can't release you...they can't trade you...they know they are stuck with you. So do the right thing and just go, for the good of the organization you claim to love so much."

That's about it for tonight gang - have a great one peeps...in case you are wondering, yes we watch the SenaTards vs Sabres game.

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - now playing

Surrender - Billy Talent

Peesth Out...Buh Bye