Renee Unplugged - My Co-Hotties Of The Week

Its over 2 weeks til Christmas and I feel real bad ass
naughty. In this weeks entry I reveal the 2 hotties
that have had my panties drenched in fantasy
sexcitement!


I HATE FUCKING HIP HOP MUSIC!
The other day my girlfriend picked me up to go shopping and as I open the car door the stereo is pumping out this dumbass Emminem garbage.

I just don't get the genre of music. Its guys/girls talking poetry over a prerecorded beat hatched up by a computer. You get these fucking morons that talk like they failed 3rd grade 80 times.
Hiphop artists don't sing-they speak.

Who's the bass player for Snoop Diggity Dogg or the drummer for that jack ass cream puff daddy diddy whatever his name is? Lil Kim ain't little-she's the size of a Macy's Thanksgiving
float! When I'm working in a club I block that garbage out by talking to a wall. ANYBODY can be a hiphop artist. ANYBODY! The audience who loves that shit music will buy anything.

WHITE PEOPLE ACTING BLACK ?
Okay you know what I'm talking about here right? You see these perfectly white-clean-
all american white folk and you go:

"Hey how are you doing?"

A- "feelin' mad cool dawg whudup? word..." HUH?

Can we please find another fucking chunk of land floating in the Pacific and ship these mother fucking gangsta wannabes to Ebonicza so we don't have to listen to such stupidity on or
planet. Picture a 60 yearold white guy going to the damn bank for a loan. His hairpiece cocked to one side and his suit pants slung low revealin his fucking depends underwear.

"Yo whuddup shorty you lookin' fly jus' chillin' on da chair Yo bitch like can this homey git me some serious cake soze I kin pimp out my crib to look mad cool fo' my boys an' ho's in da hood?"
Nuff said!

ASS TATTOOS GETTIN' OLD
Here's another funny thing-those lower back tribal tattoo's on girls will soon have granny panties under them. Yep those hotties that got those stupid tribal ensignia's inked on there above their ass years ago are starting to hit 50 and theres nothing so unsexy as seeing those faded tattoos on old women - will create a new humor target.

PUSSY PIERCINGS ON THE ELDERLY
Guys remember that hot chick who had her clit and pussy lips pierced by hot jewelry?

Picture them in their 50's and 60's hiking up their skirt lowering their control top granny panties with a diamond hunk of jewelry under a bed of old wrinkly sex parts.....Its just SO wrong ain't it?

Poor gynecologists. They should jack up their rates.


HOTTIE NUMBER I......
PADMA LAKSHMI Judge on Bravo's "Top Chef"

This is the hottie with long dark hair, sexy lips and eyes and lovely voice.
Check her out on www.bravotv.com click on TOP CHEF then click on Judges OR watch the show. I've actually Jilled off (guys jack off when they masturbate-girls jill off ) watching her on
the show. She's gorgeous!

VERY sexy! VERY classy! VERY naughty and sultry! I'm in love!

THE RED SOX.....
The Red Sox got their guys and are not through shopping yet folks.

RED SOX SHOPPING LIST
-------------------------------------------
1) BACK UP CATCHER WHO CAN HIT AND CATCH A KNUCKLEBALLER:
Sandy Alomar Jr.?

2) 2 CLOSERS:
The Red Sox won't get another Jonathan Papelbon. I think they'll get Eric Gagne and need another healthy closer to carry Gagne.

3) 2 STARTERS:
IF Matsuzaka does not in with Boston-look for the Red Sox to heavily court Roger Clemens as he's the only real dominant FA pitcher. You get $51 M posting fee back-give $22
Million of that to Roger to give you the best rotation in the AL.

4) A 2B
Pedroia won't be the answer-he needs seasoning a lot more seasoning.

Look for the Red Sox to sign old veterans to 1 year AAA contracts with invites to MLB camp.

HOTTIE NUMBER II

TINA CERVASIO of NESN.
Hey you guys masturbate thinking about other hot women I do too.
I confess when Tina C. first came on the scene here in Boston I didn't like her. I missed Tom Caron and Eric Frede in the stands. BUT Tina started getting tanned and her hair got styled
and that sexy smile just kept reeling me back. What turns me on about Tina is that she has a naughty mischievous grin and gorgeous athletic body with a beautiful ass!

Tina has that wild sexy look in her eyes and you just know she'd be so fun to be with!

SYLVESTER STALLONE and MAYOR MENINO
Sly Stallone and Mayor Mumbles Menino need an interpreter so bad during their appearance in town Wed. It was horrible on the ears.

STRIPPER 101
WANNA SCORE POINTS WITH A STRIPPER?
Then do not get a table or lap dance.

Instead take your desired dancer to the private room with a drink and pay her to talk to you with her clothes on not off. Some dude's out there right now goin':

"Fuck Renee spend $20 bucks to talk? I wanna see her friggin' pussy!"

Great then your dancer will think of you as just another in the endless line of perverts. Pay the girl the money to talk and she'll be flattered you don't want to be like the other guys. Make us laugh. We love laughing. Ask about us.

Don't ask us our real names or where we live (sounds too stalkerish when we don't know you). Don't bore us with your problems-listen to ours instead.
DO bring in chocolate (we love that!)-roses are creepy and are given away in the dressing room.
Tip other girls on stage while your talking to us. Shows your magnanimous and helping all of us out.

DICE MAN COMETH?
Don't panic guys. There's a lot of time left for the 2 sides (Red Sox and Boras) to get the deal done.

CUMMING ATTRACTION:
For you newbies I'll post a quick bio of me over the weekend.

Thats going to do it for me this week hope you have a great weekend guys!

XOXO
Renee