Renee's Back - Grinnin' and Barin' It

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Those of you on the yahoo site should be very familiar with Renee and her views on the world of sports .and, um... you know. For those of you who have happened upon this page for the first time - our friend Renee is one of the more vocal members of the yahoo site; you can insert the words "outspoken", "brash", "opinionated", "fearless", "daring"...its all Renee. The views expressed by Renee are her own and should not be interpreted or seen to have been reviewed or approved by Hazel Mae. Renee is just having a little fun...and is always a source of good information and entertainment on the yahoo site. On to Renee's latest blog entry:

Hey gang! Its time for me to Grin and Bare once again this week as I expose my thoughts on stuff
in general (you thought I was going to expose something else....didn't you?) as well the conclusion
of my "Hazel Moment" started on the Hazelpeeps Yahoo Group site...

OUR HOMETOWN RED SOX
Seems like everyones bitchin' and moanin' about the lack of hitting from Red Sox SS ALEX 
GONZALEZ. WHY? Gonzalez has been a human vaccum cleaner shoring up the position.
Gnomar (cuz he looks like a gnome) Garciaparra was a "good" hitting SS, but was an average
fielder at best.

The fans sitting in the stands behind 1B had to bring baseball gloves for self defense. Gnomie
would pelt'em pretty consistantly with his wild overthrows in the stands. I like Gonzo and so what
if he doesn't hit - his glove saves games.

Editor's note - I think Renee is just using this to take a shot at me - because Nomar is a
member of  Hazel Mae's Hackers (Hazelspeeps Fantasy Pool on yahoo).  Yes, "we" are
off to a slow start - don't ask - but "No-Mah" will lead us back to the top.


I'll say it again - KEVIN YOUKILIS is one of the ugliest ball players in the majors.
Lesbianism is on the rise with Yuuuuuke...


Keep an eye on 1B HEE SEOP CHOI in Triple A Pawtucket he's hitting the ball really
well and when called up will have a big impact....

Editor's note - I've heard this song and dance over Hee Seop Choi - I was the lead singer for three
years when I kept waiting for Hee Seop to do something for Hazel Mae's Heroes (N.L only Roto
pool I'm in).  HEE SEOP CHOI...HEE SEOP CHOI...HEE - ah never mind...Meh!

Know whats hysterical? All those in Red Sox Nation wanted BRONSON ARROYO's butt outta
town when he struggled in spring training. As we know Arroyo was shipped to the Reds for
WILY MO PENA. Arroyo went to 4-0 while Pena struggled and Red Sox Nation whined so badly
they needed cheese to go with it.

Now Wily Mo is hitting and fielding great and the Nation is in love with Pena. HILARIOUS!....

Editor's note - ummm Wily Mo is playing great in the field?  can someone confirm?

David Wells' fill in LENNY DINARDO sucks!!! You mean to tell me GM Theo Epstein can't find a
decent lefty on the waiver wire or a veteran who has been trying to revive his career to an incentive
deal? "SPACEMAN" BILL LEE today would pitch a better game...

Editor's note - I guess Renee missed the Sox game against the O's today.  Dinardo pitched
fine today...speaking of which, I wonder how long before "Hubie" picks Lenny up off the
waiver wire?  (inside joke amongst Hazelspeeps Fantasy Baseball poolers).


HAZEL MOMENT CONTINUED
to catch up go join the Hazelspeeps yahoo!group- the beginning of my moment was-pretty hot!)

So I unbutton my top in the booth and reveal my large tanned bare breasts to a shocked Hazel
(hey I'm a stripper exposing myself is my job) Hazel looks at them as I jiggle them quickly and starts
giggling and puts her hands in front of her face.  "I took your mind off your problems huh?" after
jokingly attempting to give her the shirt off my back.  "Yeah you certainly did at that." she said all
flustered and embarrassed.

We chatted a while longer over another round and I couldn't help admiring how sexy she was in
person. Hazel excused herself to go to the ladies room then came back to the table smiling.
It was 12:00am and she had to get up in the morning. She thanked me for the drinks - listening to
her. We hugged and before she left I asked her to do me a favor.

"What?" she asked? "Can I have your autograph?"  "Sure" she said as I gave her a marker. With
that I hiked up my skirt exposing my tanned bare butt in the booth. "Please sign my bum?" Hazel
laughed as her hand touched my derriere as she signed.  She gave my butt a playful slap.
"Ooo I like that!" I told her kiddingly  I pulled my skirt back down and we gave each other a kiss on
the cheek. I invited her to see me at the club when I danced and she said she'd try to make it down.

OF COURSE NOTHING IN THIS STORY EVER HAPPENED-I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP TO
GET YOU GUYS GOING! I HAVE NEVER MET HAZEL MAE but I'd love too! This  just one of my
fantasies.

Editor's note: I'm speechless...

Okay guys grab yourselves a cold shower back to sports.


JOE VS SERGEI
Two former Bruins franchise stars exiled this past season by the ex- General Moronager
Mike O'Connell will square against each other.

The Sharks Joe Thornton and Oilers Sergei Samsonov.  I'm taking San Jose in 6 games. Jumbo
Joe will also scoop up the NHL MVP hardware and thank O'Connell for dishing him to the Shark
tank so he could win a cup ala Ray Bourque.

Editor's note: I wonder if Renee has been reading my predictions.  I wonder what Jack Edwards
must be thinking if he's reading this...he probably still thinks it was a good trade.

BRUINS
My vote for next Bruins head coach? Ex- Maple Leafs coach Pat Quinn.

Editor's note: Pat Quinn is going to Phoenix or Vancouver.  There is NO WAY he would
work for  the Jacobs' - not with Harry Sinden lurking. 

BUTT-CRACK TATTOOS
I'm in the girls lockerroom at my gym the other day. I noticed about 15 or so of these young
darlings 18-30 years old cavorting around in various stages of undress with one thing in common.
BUTT CRACK TATTOOS.  They all had hearts-tribal-initials-dolphins etc. inked above their tight
and not so tight bums.

Let me say this gang soon you're going to be seeing a generation of old ladies bending over in
walkers-gardening or at the beach with these faded ink splotches sticking out of granny panties.
I feel worse for gynecologists who will be subjected to senior citzens sporting vaginal piercings in
the ol' grannies.

You've been warned....When you see that hottie at the stripclub - in a thong at the beach-in public
with that sexy tattoo-cherish the moment.

Editor's note: I thought we were going back to sports Renee?

CELTICS
Really like the Bruins does anyone really care? No. Not unless we're talking about the sexy dance
troupe they're rumored to be bringing in for next season.

RED SOX VS YANKEES
1) Josh Beckett VS Randy Johnson: Red Sox Win - It'll be a battle though.
2) Curt Schilling VS Mike Mussina: Red Sox Win. It'll be a romp.
3) Tim Wakefield VS Shawn Chacon: Yankees tee off on Timmy.

That'll do it for me as I've gotta go get ready to go GRIN AND BARE IT at a party.

XOXO - Renee

Editor's note: thank you Renee...its never boring with you around.