Wayne's World Wednesday

Hey Peeps, and anyone else checking in for this week's Weird and Whacked Wednesday update...from those of you who are regular or semi-regular readers and know what Wednesdays are about on this page to those of you who have happened on this page for the first time. For those of you who fall into the category of the latter - Wednesday entries take a look back at some of the more "interesting" stories to make news in the world of sports over the past week or so - the Weird, the Whacked and the downright silly.

Before I start, I have to send an extra special "Hey" out to Hazel Mae - who made the cover of the latest edition of the Improper Bostonian. Very Nice

The Rick Tocchet saga dominated the Canadian airwaves today - the nation sits on pins and needles hoping that Wayne Gretzky isn't implicated in this mess. While this story would be enough to fill today's entry...we couldn't let the NFL slip away into the off-season without one last Wednesday highlight or two.

NFL

KILLER KOOL-AID
I want a glass or two of the killer kool-aid that Paul Tagliabue and Greg Aiello and have been drinking and are now offering us. I say killer kool-aid because we all know about the NFL's substance abuse policy - and they wouldn't be doing that stuff.

So the NFL, a league that prides itself on holding its members to exemplary standards, has come out and publicly said that last Sunday's Super Bore was "properly officiated" - ummm, ok...I could see that from a Steelers' point of view. Properly officiated, lets examine that - yes...ok, properly officiated in that:

• there were enough officials at the game; ok
  
  
• the officials were positioned properly; ummm ok
  
  

See? it WAS properly officiated. Notice the NFL didn't come out and say that official made the correct decisions - they knew they couldn't say that without be laughed off the face of the planet. No - Tagliabue, being the shrewd commissioner he is, chose a phrase that couldn't really be challenged. They stayed away from discussing any of the controversial calls - instead doing the old soft-shoe around that issue by saying there were some tight plays that produced disagreement about the calls made by the officials.

If you think about it - its brilliant. It is definitely full of crap - but it is so broad that you can't really pin them down into discussing it. A Canadian politician once said - "When faced with a tough question - never feel like you have to answer any and all questions put to you...instead, your answer should be in response to the question you WANTED to have asked of you."

I'll have a glass of that Kool-aid...set all my peeps up with one too. Hazel, you up for a glass of Kool-aid? File the NFL's response under whacked.

PETER GRIFFIN THE SECOND
Former 49er (still hate them all!) Joe Montana denies he snubbed the Super Bore after organizers refused to pay him an appearance fee (reportedly $100,000). Montana, claims he wanted to watch the Super Bore with his kids because he wants to spend time with them - referring back to the times he missed with his daughters. Joe didn't snub the Super Bore - he went home to watch their basketball games and watch the Super Bore. Ah huh, he just happened to be in Detroit hanging around until the Friday before the game - and THEN decided to go home. If I was Montana's son I'd be some pissed if my dad could have gotten me into the Super Bore and he decided instead to watch it on TV with me. Joe must have had a drink with Tagliabue if he expects people to buy that - actually, when compared to what the NFL is saying about officiating...Montana doesn't seem so full of crap after all huh? Maybe Joe nicked himself with that Gillette razor. Joe Montana went to the Peter Griffin school of parenting - WHAT THE DEUCE? File this one under the silly if he expects people to buy it.

TWO OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD
Former Dallas Cowboy Troy Aikman makes the NFL Hall of Fame - quite deservedly. If you like Tom Brady - you gotta like Aikman...cut from the same cloth.

Former Dallas Cowboy Rayfield Wright makes the NFL Hall of Fame - one of the dominant Offensive Tackles of his time...I remember him leading the way for Preston Pearson.

Former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin DOESN'T make the NFL Hall of Fame. Irvin's numbers stack up agains the game's great receivers. The guy was brash, he was arrogant and he was a trash talker - but he was money. He came to play each and every game - as a rookie he challenged the legendary Tom Landry. Irvin backed up his words with action - he was one physical SOB who used his size and strength to compensate for avg speed. The NFL writers didn't vote him in because of his off the field activities - which should really have no bearing on what he did between the lines on Sundays. Emmitt Smith put it perfectly - "It's the Football Hall of Fame, not the Life Hall of Fame." What they did to Irvin was just plain wrong - Irvin was a much better and much more dominant player than many of the guys who are currently in Canton. This one sucks - big time. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Hazel would agree with me on this call. File this one under the Whacked.

I had a whole bunch to say about the Rick Tocchet mess - the involvement of Janet Jones (aka Mrs. Gretzky) and whether or not Wayne was in the dark. But I'll save that for tomorrow - it really is its own separate entry - and I'm coming off an 11 hour day (not including travel time). I'll say this before I go - the NHL must be in crisis mode trying to distance Gretzky from this mess. Gretzky for his part wants everybody to believe that he had NO KNOWLEDGE that his wife (his best friend, the person he loves more than anyone in the world - Janet) and a very close friend of his, who happened to be an assistant coach on his hockey team (a wonderful guy he said of Tocchet) were invovled in betting on sports. Wayne must think we are all drinking Kool-aid straight from the tap - he can't expect people to buy this notion that he was in the dark. He can't. I don't know what to file this one under...all of the above? We'll figure it out tomorrow I guess.

Hey peeps and anyone else checking in (apparently quite a few of you now) - thanks for taking the time to stop by...if you think I have missed anything, want to submit a story you think makes the grade, or have any comments in general - please feel free to post in comments box. Have a great one.

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world - congrats on the cover shot. Did I mention...very nice?

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - for the this year's Dallas Cowboy contingent nominated for the hall of fame - especially my man Michael Irvin...and what those SOB sports writers must be singing...

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad - Meatloaf

I want you, I want you
I need you, I need you
But there ain't no way
I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad, don't be sad
Cuz two out of three ain't bad

Peesth Out!