The Hazies - The Champs & The Chumps

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae if she is checking in.

For those of you who are new to the page - we like to start each week by taking a look back at some of the more notable performances from the week that was in the world of sports. To those who have risen above the rest, we salute them by honouring them as one of Hazel's Heroes and awarding them a "Hazie". On the flip side, we look at those who have distinguished themselves for less than stellar performances - we refer to them as The Chumps. While Hazel hasn't officially approved this week's list of winners and "runners-up", we'd like to think she would give her trademark smile and thumbs up.

HAZEL'S HEROES - THE CHAMPS

NHL
We like to refer to Anaheim Ducks GM as "Hockey God" - we should qualify that by saying he is the modern day Hockey God; any hockey fan knows that THE Hockey God is former Montreal Canadiens GM Sam Pollock. The NHL lost one of the greatest men ever to be associated with the game, passing away last week at the age of 81. Pollock was responsible for building the Habs dynasty of the 70's. Nine Stanley Cups (painful times if you grew up a fan of the Maple Leafs) in fourteen years. Even the most rabid members of Leaf Nation know enough to tip their hat to Pollock. We think Bruins fans know what we're talking about here.


MLB
Minnesota Twins (disgruntled) P Johan Santana set a franchise record on Sunday striking out 17 batters over eight shutout innings in a 1-0 win over the Rangers.

Atlanta Braves 1B Mark Texeira has been on fire since being traded from Texas - the Portuguese kid from Maryland who has been battling flu symptoms has hit 4 HRs driven in 10 in the last two days. In the 18 games since the trade, Texeira has hit 9 HRs and driven in 24.

Arizona Diamondbacks P Brandon Webb has been on an incredible run lately - he has pitched 42 consecutive scoreless innings - 17 shy of the mark set by Orel Hersisher. Since we aren't pulling for Webb - we'll leave it at that.


WORLD FOOTBALL
That's right, we're talking soccer again. FC Porto winger Ricardo Quaresma scored both goals in the Dragons win 2-1 over Sporting Braga - the second goal was on a free kick with less than five minutes to go...magic. He and Cristiano were the golden boys of Portuguese football a few years back - while Quaresma's career hasn't taken off like Ronaldo's; the kid is serving notice that he is going to be special. Check out the link for a compilation video of some of Quaresma's great moments - its worth it.


HAZEL'S ZEROES - THE CHUMPS

NHL
Regular readers know how much we love to hate on the Ottawa SenaTards - this week is no different. Ticket sales at Scotiabank Place must be slow because SenaTards GM Bryan Murray tried to create some interest by telling the media and fans that he spoken to FA Peter Forsberg's agent to say that the Tards would be interested in acquiring Forsberg. This strikes us as particularly funny and riduculous for two reasons - 1) The Tards are almost capped out and would have to trade someone making big bucks to clear cap room - the only logical choice, Wade Redden has said he doesn't want to be traded, leaving few options; 2) Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli is also capped out so he can't take on any of Ottawa's overpaid castoffs as he attempts to build SenaTards South.

Former Blue Jackets GM Doug MacLean is now a part owner of the Tampa Bay Lightning. A couple of weeks back MacLean spoke about how tough it was to build a winner in Columbus when the ownership didn't want to spend money. In and of itself, this is a common complaint of many GMs - however, for the guy who took on Sergei Fedorov's ridiculous contract from Anaheim (Brian Burke is modern day Hockey God) and wasted big money on Adam Foote, he shouldn't really be talking about bad ownership. He had eight top ten picks in Columbus and did nothing with them - other than selecting Rick Nash.


MLB
A wise old Irishman once uttered these words to his son to make a point about how dumb people can be. He looked at his son and said "James, an asshole, is an asshole, is an asshole." We think he may have been speaking about former Reds P Rob Dibble. Five minutes of Dibble on Fox Sports Radio was enough to make us want to turn off the radio. Speaking about Brandon Webb's quest to surpass Hershiser - Dibble said he hoped Webb could break the record, so he wouldn't have to listen to Hershiser describe the record as "climbing a mountain". Dibble went on for a few minutes talking about how much he hates hearing Hershiser say that. Dibble, in his infinite idiocy went on to talk about Michael Vick - Dibble went on about how he and his wife love dogs, about how his wife calls their dogs "her babies" (they look just like dad...only smarter) and how much they do for dogs; then turns around as says that "they're just dogs." For the record, we think Dibble was an asshole when he played and he is still an asshole on his Best Damn Sports show. Dibble is like Shemp...the fourth stooge, to John Salley, Rodney Peete and Chris Rose.

FOOTBALL - NORTH AMERICAN
The easy pick would be Ron Mexico - he has been a fixture in this section; however this week, we are going to lay off Vick...sort of. Vick accepted a guilty plea yesterday and will certainly serve some jail time; for all intents and purposes, Vick's NFL career is dead. But this week's Chump(s) goes to Vick's co-defendants who rolled on him to save their own pathetic asses. We are by no means absolving Vick of anything - but what can you possibly think about three so-called friends, who pretty much relied on Vick for everything (including their livelihoods), throwing Vick under the bus to lay the blame at his feet. Their names aren't worth mentioning - they are douchebags. As for Vick, he's now left with the same decision that his co-defendants had - does he roll over on some of his NFL colleagues who are undoubtedly involved in the same activity? Way to go Vick...see you in the CFL in 2009.

Scott Moore, Executive Director of CBC sports, fell asleep Saturday night and embarassed the network. The CBC was televising the Saskatchewan Roughriders vs Edmonton Eskimos game when the game was delayed by a thunderstorm - when the game resumed, the dolts doing the broadcast tried calling Moore to ask if they should go back to the game or show the previously scheduled movie (who cares what it was?). Moore had turned off his cell phone and couldn't be reached to make the decision - so the geniuses and CBC ran the movie instead of going back to the game which had an amazing finish. You can read about it in the Sun. What a freakin joke.

That's about it for this morning - we'll check back in later to look at last night's action and make our Three Play picks. Thanks for taking the time to check in and have a great one.

Hazel, we hope things are groovy in your world.

We're Out!