How To Silence A SenaTard

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

Game 5 of the Eastern Conference goes this afternoon in Buffalo (thanks for nothing NBC) with the Sabres hosting the Tards - we've had to endure three days of "we're going to the Cup" talk from the "Tards Army", I can't even begin to describe how painful that is.

I was going to do a "Hinterland Who's Who" of hockey fans...featuring the SenaTard, but I'm too damn tired after playing poker well into the wee hours of this morning. By the way, if you are wondering about "Hinterland Who's Who" reference...google it...Hazel would get the reference.

The talk has been around how the Tards are going to win the series today - the Tards Army will give you all sorts of reasons why the series won't make it back to Ottawa for game six - they point to all sorts of "signs" that the Tards are a team of destiny. When dealing with a SenaTard, it is important to remember that most of these idiots are former Montreal Canadiens fans who jumped ship in the late 90's and early 2000's when the Habs were terrible and the Tards were on the rise - I'm sure readers from New England know how obnoxious Habs fans can be - as I said, keeping that in mind, I just listened to their arguments about how "they" would beat the Sabres IN BUFFALO today. The funny thing is that it only takes two words to shut these morons' pie holes - "How much"?

The question is greeted with a confused look on the face of the blowhard you have been cursed with having to listen to - invariably, the vacant look comes over their face when they respond with a "What?" The question is more focused and right to the point - "How much do you want to bet on Saturday's game? You think the Tards will win...how much?"

The look that every member of Leaf Nation has seen on the face of the Tards - fear. The Tard, backed into a corner with having to back up his conviction, resorts to the last out "You don't like the Sabres...you're team didn't make the playoffs, so why should I bet you?" End of conversation - you can almost see the Tard twitching, fighting the urge to ask the question that would expose him as a former Montreal Canadien fan...the Habs fan, when confronted with the current state of their team always resorts to one of two questions (depending on who they are talking to)

1) When was that last time your team won the Cup? or

2) How many Cups has your team won?

And you wonder what I call these retards "SenaTards"? I'm calling it right now...Buffalo is going to win today, and Monday and Wednesday. The Tards are going down - and with the loss will wear the tag of "Chokers" like its an immunity idol on Survivor.

Poker night last night - my man Ottawa_Tilt took the game down and with it, a nice payday. Luckily, Tilt and I have the kind of friendship where we share the benefits of windfalls...so Tilt's got dinner in Boston when we go see the Yankees and Sox at Fenway...that's right, yours truly scored BIG TIME tickets to Fenway for the game on June 3rd. We'll have the pictures up when we get back.

HAZEL'S THREE STARS
New York Mets OF Endy Chavez hit a two run home run off Andy Pettitte to give the Mets a 3-2 win yesterday - Endy, Red Sox Nation salutes you.

San Diego Padres P Chris Young allowed one run on six hits and a walk over six innings in an 8-1 win over the Mariners yesterday - Young finished the night with five strikeouts. Good for the three play.

Minnesota Twins P Boof Bonser pitched seven solid innings against the Brewers yesterday, giving up one run on three hits and a walk while striking out nine in the Twins 8-1 win over Milwaukee.


SATURDAY THREE PLAY
Another tough night going 2-1 but only $45 in the black. So the total for the week stands at - $340 (accounting error earlier this week).

Boston over Atlanta - Dice-K vs Lerew...need I say more? Lay $100 on the Sox - $240.

Milwaukee over Minnesota - Dave Bush has been getting plenty of run support this year, expect the Brewers to rebound from yesterday's beatdown. Lay $100 on the Brewers - $165.

Florida over Tampa Bay - Jae Seo is going to the DRays...so expect the Marlins to put up some numbers today. We'll go with Dontrelle Willis. Lay $100 on the Marlins - $120.

Buffalo over Ottawa - read above. Lay $150 on the Sabres - $125.

We may be back later this afternoon to add to the Three Play. That's it for this morning gang...have a great one peeps. For those of you reading from the right side of the border...enjoy your Victoria Day Weekend - please remember, if you drink - DON'T FRIGGIN DRIVE.


KEEPING HAZEL UP ON WHAT'S WHAT IN LEAFLAND
We "mae" have a very good one here

They're down on Dustin


HAZEL'S SATURDAY HOROSCOPE
There is no excuse today: You must finish what you start. Your reputation may be at stake if you have been making promises and not delivering the goods. Be realistic about expectations. 2 stars

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world. Enjoy your weekend.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - for every loud mouth SenaTard/former Hab fan

Loser - Beck

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!