Larry, Moe and Curly - Shemp to follow?

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you checking in for a Weird & Whacked Wednesday update - meh, it has been a slow week in the world of sports. The world stood still watching Dice-K play catch at spring training and waited on the edge of their seats to hear from Tom Brady about Briget Moynahan's announcement.

But we couldn't let a Wednesday go by without an update of sorts - so tonight, we give you the Three Stooges of the NHL. If you are an NHL fan, you know that the trade deadline is approaching - February 27. There are trade rumours coming out of most NHL cities (ok, maybe just in Canadian hockey cities) - teams are talking about loading up for the playoffs with a key acquisition, while others are looking to cut payroll and start building next year's team. Some of the rumours coming out before this year's deadline would be enough to make a Wednesday update under the category of just plain dumb.

Tonight, we highlight the Three Stooges of the NHL and look at what they are thinking going into the last week before D-Day. They all claim to be looking to make their team better, which is funny since they seem to be trying very hard not to make a trade to improve their team. You can bet that by next Tuesday, one, if not all three of these half-wits, will utter the tired old cliche "Sometimes, the best trade is the one you didn't make" or "We just could find the right deal" or "We like our hockey club as is". It won't surprise you to learn that two of these teams won't make the playoffs, with the other being a perennial disappointment.

Florida Panther GM Jacques Martin
This guy was never the brightest hockey mind as a coach (the SenaTards faithful will attest to that), but as a GM he has completely lost his mind. Florida is at the center of a lot of trade talk right now, they have a number of high paid veterans who haven't gotten the job done this year - but as always, there is some smart assed GM that thinks he can rescue these guys and bring them back to what they were. The word is that LW Todd Bertuzzi (go look him up on You Tube) is available - a number of teams have reportedly asked about what it would take to get him. Martin's answer is a young front line player (who comes cheap) and a high draft pick; while some might think this is reasonable, consider that Bertuzzi's back problems have flared up again this year AND he carries a $5M/year price tag (he is not going to be an unrestricted free agent this year).

While Martin should be thankful that someone might be dumb enough to take this guy off, and his $5M salary off his hands, Martin is instead insisting that the Panthers want someone to replace Bertuzzi. This is absolutely ridiculous - Bertuzzi has been one of the bigger busts this year and won't be around long enough to see Florida rebuild into a winner. Martin would be much better off getting rid of that contract and trying to make anyone forget that they ever traded Roberto Luongo.

Montreal Canadiens GM Bob Gainey
For those of you that don't know, Gainey was a member of the great Montreal teams of the 1970's (I hate saying that) - and was lured back to Montreal from Dallas to rebuild a once proud franchise. Gainey has had limited success (some would say no success) during his tenure in Montreal - and things aren't looking much better this year as the Canadiens are better than even odds to slide out of the playoff race. Gainey has made a number of bad signs, not the least of which was Sergei Samsonov - who the Canadiens can't get rid of. With the city of Montreal talking about what the team needs to do to make it to the playoffs - Gainey has pretty much thrown in the towel, and is said to be considering moving D Sheldon Souray who will become an unrestricted free agent after this season. Souray is on record saying that he wants to play on the west coast to be closer to his daughter, and is said to be looking for $5M/year on a new deal. We won't get into how deluded Souray is if the thinks he is worth that much - he is a below average defenceman, with very little defensive awareness in his own zone, limited puck moving skills, and it prone to bad decision making - he is however a power play specialist who has a cannon for a shot.

Gainey knows that he won't be able to sign Souray, so is said to be shopping him around. The first rumour that surfaced (it is so retarded that it was likely planted by the Montreal media) had the San Jose Sharks interested in acquiring Souray. San Jose has plenty of cap room, so they might be looking at him for the playoffs with the thought that they might able to sign Souray next year (though I have a hard time believing that Sharks GM Doug Wilson would be forking over $15 - $20 M for a bad D man); San Jose also has a lot of good young talent that they can be persuaded to part with. So while Montreal fans are split on whether or not Souray should play out the year - they would all love to get a good young prospect. Bob Gainey is reportedly asking for San Jose's number one defensive prospect Matt Carle (currently a member of Hazel's Maeple Leafs in the yahoo pool), a kid who has proven he can be a top 3 guy in the NHL; highly touted young center Joe Pavelski who has surprised the Sharks with his play so far this year (a very respectable 20 points in 29 games); AND Gainey wants a draft pick. He wants two NHL ready youngsters (making very little money) and a draft pick for a guy he is going to lose in April. Sounds to me like Gainey is asking for the moon because he's afraid of making a trade. Matt Carle for Souray straight up would be a steal for the Habs - thankfully, Bob Gainey is one of those dumb GMs.


Ottawa SenaTards GM John Muckler
The NHL's poster boy for Depends is telling anyone that will listen that he is looking to get a solid defenceman and a power forward with some grit. Keep in mind this is the same guy who committed $6 million dollars to sign backup goalie Martin Gerber and 5th/6th defenceman Joe Corvo - both of whom have been complete flops. His old buddy, Florida Panthers Coach/GM Jacques Martin, has made it known that former Maple Leafs LW Gary Roberts is available. Since his arrival in the land of the SenaTards, Muckler has heard fans crying out to get Gary Roberts, Muckler has always said that he would love a guy like Roberts - so now that Roberts is available, the asking price is too high. Florida is said to be asking for one of Ottawa's young forwards - Antoine Vermette or Patrick Eaves, two decent players, but neither is going to be a guy to lead you to the Stanley Cup...not this year, maybe not ever.

So Muckler, who is on record as saying he wants his team to be tougher doesn't want to part with piece of the future to take his shot at a Cup. Muckler's main concern seems to be ensuring that the SenaTards future is bright - rather than winning a cup the fans in his city are dying for. We'll hear it all again in April/May when the Tards are bounced out again - "we are going to look to add another piece or two to take this team to the next level. We'll learn from this year and build on it next year - we have all the makings of a Stanley Cup team."

Please note: in compiling this week's entry no GMs were harmed in any way - though Bob Clarke, who is technically a VP, should be harmed and beaten to a pulp.

That's it for tonight gang - have a great one peeps!

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world.

Song of the Day on Hazelspeeps - a song Sheldon Souray might be singing right now

Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!