Renee Unplugged - Dice K

DAISUKE MATSUKAWA/SCOTT BORAS/RED SOX TAKE CENTER STAGE FROM PATSIES-'RUINS AND SMELLTICS.

Okay you Pats fans. Your Patriots kicked you in the balls and fucked you in the ass with a studded condom Sunday. You feel like dogshit because the old reliable Pats choked today against the Dolphins. Tom Brady is clearly hurt and Laurence Maroney was horribly missed.

Thats okay Bill Bellicose and his Patsies will exist happily away from the media this week.

You Celtics fans?
Start calling-writing-skywriting-ESPing-emailing GM Danny Ainge to trade for Allen Iverson.
Iverson is the guy who will bring fans into the dusty empty chairs at C's games. Maybe if the Celtics Dancers did free lapdances? The Celtics NEED Iverson.

Doc Cry Me A Rivers still has a job-to join Ainge on the sinking ship.

The Bruins? They need a scorer (John LeClair ?) a brickwall in font of the net and a UFC fighter on skates.

Coach Dave Lewis got the teams sports psychologist Fred Neff fired. What an flaming asshole Dave Lewis is. The 'Ruins are "The Shlubs of Hockey"

The Revolution are on offseason licking their assholes from the 3rd straight MLS final loss.

SPORTS CENTER CENTER STAGE:

DAISUKE MATSUKA/SCOTT BORAS VS THEO EPSTEIN and RED SOX CEO's

You know you'll be watching.

The Red Sox have until midnite Thursday Dec. 14th to get a deal done and have Dice Man pass a physical for it to be official.

WHERE THEY STAND..
According to media reports as far away as LA and Boston. Matsuzaka and his agent Scott Boras will be traveling to Boston Monday/Tuesday to try to hammer out a deal and have Dice close by to take a physical if terms are agreed to.

Boras likely has put his other high profile FA client SP Barry Zito on hold til this is resolved.

Closer Eric Gagne will announce by Mon. where he's playing.

WHAT TO EXPECT ON MATSUZAKA:
The Sox have offered $8 million per. Boras wants $15 mill per. Thats $7 million
to overcome.

BORAS LEVERAGE:
1-The Red Sox fans and all of baseball are expecting this deal to be done. If it doesn't the Red
Sox look like Scrooges.

2-Other than Roger Clemens there isn't anyone as dominating available out there. Clemens could still retire-pitch in the Bronx or for Houston. 3-He can put Dice up for bid next year where he'll find another team willing to meet his steep price.

RED SOX LEVERAGE
1-No deal-Dice goes to back to Japan and get back the $51 Million posting fee back from financially strapped Seibu who do not want to give it back.

2-Could attempt to get Clemens back for a year at $25 Million.
Keep in mind the $51 million DOES NOT go against the teams Luxury Tax. Only the contract.

3-Hoping Seibu pressures Scott Boras to take the deal.

MY PREDICTION? Boras and Epstein give it the old college try. Epstein ups to $10 or $11 Million and Boras walks away from it.

RED SOX DO NOT SIGN MATSUZAKA
Its a $7 Million dollar gap. If Boras wouldn't lower the $5 million dollar salary for injury prone closer Eric Gagne-he ain't doing it for Matsuzaka.

RED SOX PLAN B: ROGER CLEMENS
Clemens is sitting in the drivers seat.

With the Sox now reeling from not landing the Japanese ace and with money to spend
The Red Sox needing to fend off the angst of the Nation-team and media will beg and grovel
Clemens to take $24 million to pitch 1 more year.

Interesting proposition.

PREDICTION: Rocket launches in Fenway in '07

Matsuzaka cancels his Boston Globe subscription.

That's it for the weekend.

XOXO
Renee