Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Long Weekend Monday

Dying Brain Cells - 15 Minutes I'll never get back
On the way to do some shopping this afternoon, I turned on the radio to check in on what was happening in the world of sports radio. The 12 - 3 pm slot in Ottawa is filled by the syndicated Jim Rome Show - if you don't get it, be thankful - you aren't missing much. A few years ago, while on vacation in my backyard (staining my fence) I left the radio on the Team 1200 while did the Karate Kid painting up and down. This week was my indoctrination to the idiocy and nonsense that is American sports radio. This guy is something else - do you want to know how great Jim Rome is? ask him...he'll be happy to tell you. The guy is a shameless self promoter, and an all around pompous, self righteous, and at times incredibly ignorant horse's ass who treats most of his listeners and callers with contempt.

I had forgotten how annoying this guy can be, until today. I decided to give him 15 minutes to say something to keep my interested enough not to change the station - it's the same old Rome. The guy's schtick is that he repeats the obvious, over and over - one would think...for emphasis. Case in point, today's show. The half wit is talking about North Carolina's basketball coach, Roy Williams, not being able to win the big game and that people are beginning to question whether or not he can. So Rome launches into his patented "white guy ebonics" (and his assinine sililoquies) as he talks about supporting Williams, how HE knows Williams can do it, but that he better go on and win this year...or the monkey on his back gets bigger...it went something pretty close to this.

"So Roy, before people start to wonder about whether or not you can seal the deal and get the job done...I'm thinking you just go on and win it all now. (Jim Rome pause for effect - like he's addressing the UN) I mean, you know Roy, if the longer you go on without winning, the more questions you are going to have to answer about not winning...and the bigger that monkey on your back gets...so you just go on and win it this year...before that monkey gets bigger and heavier. Cuz you know Roy, this is the year, you are in the final four so you might as well go on and win it to shut everyone the hell up...and get that monkey off your back...cuz the longer you go without winning...the harder its gonna be to get that monkey off"

I swear to God, that was the essence of this five minute thought - the guy repeats everything three or four times, pauses to bask in his brilliant assessment of the obvious, and then goes on to tell you how smart he was for thinking of it. Like I said, 15 minutes that I'll never get back (actually, more like 10 minutes...he lost me after the Roy Rant) by I had a quick look at his website to see that he has annointed himself "perhaps the most respected voice in sports broadcasting" Ya right Jim... Jim Everett should have kicked the crap out of you during the interview you catapult yourself to national prominence. In your own words...you AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I wonder if Hazel has heard of this guy, and what she would think of him (and other jerks like him, that she has undoubtedly come up against) - given that he is (drumroll) "PERHAPS the most respected voice in sports broadcasting."

Team Canada News
Joe "I keep getting suspended for hitting little guys" Thornton has accepted an invitation to play on team Canada - while he is being applauded for this on TSN, and presumably in the rest of Canada and pockets in New England, I would simply ask..."well? what else would he be doing? after being suspended yet again in Switzerland, it's not like his dance card is full or anything...right? Hazel doesn't have to answer this one, given that she is too close to the chowdaheads in New England and would have to remain neutral.

Speaking of dumb asses. it seems that Eric "the animal" Cairnes is in trouble for going after a referee in Great Britain's Elite League. I mention is simply for effect - to draw a parallel between the attitude and actions of a so-called star like Thornton and an addled minded jackass like Eric Cairns.

The NHLers are making the league look like a joke - does anyone else think the owners are going to crush them?

The Countdown to Opening Day
Thinking about going to see the Sox and the Jays - opening day April 8th. I'm sure there won't be a ticket available - after all, doesn't anyone else think that the game would be the unofficial homecoming of Hazel Mae? I'm thinking she'll be there (after all, her birthday is the day before the game). So if anyone sees her, wish her a happy birthday!

In case anyone was wondering, I still think J.P Ricciardi looks like the chickenhawk on the Bugs Bunny show. If the Jays don't compete this year, is it time to pull the plug on the "excuse machine"? How much longer can he keep talking about the plan for the Jays, and talking about payroll etc.? I guess I have a bit of an axe to grind with the chickenhawk...until I get to the bottom of a rumour he's been mentioned in - he's on my shit list.

Drafts, Drafts, Drafts
So the NHL draft is cancelled, the MLB draft isn't a big deal (or rather...rarely is a big deal), the NFL draft is coming up, but after the Cowboys...does anyone really care? hahaha. My rotisserie league auction is slated to take place on April 10th (i've got Josh Beckett and Mark Prior and that's about it)...for those paying attention, yes, the same week as Hazel's Birthday (7th), Opening Night in Toronto (8th), my birthday (9th)...hmmmmm I wonder if Hazel would consider co-owning a National League based rotisserie league team? remember peeps...dreams...gotta have em.

More Sad News
For anyone who remembers the music of the 80's and early 90's - Crowded House drummer Paul Hester committed suicide this past weekend. I won't go into my thoughts on him...but when I saw msn headline that read "crowded house death" - I knew immediately it would be him - I have this scary thing about reading people.

In honour of Mr. Hester, I will nominated a Crowded House song as the Hazelspeeps song of the day.

The World Where You Live - Crowded House.

To my mind, their best song. It was about a dude that couldn't figure out what his loved one wanted, seemed like she couldn't figure it out either. I'm sure that many a smitten young man in the GTA would have thought of Hazel (had they heard it). A slow, 80's style british/aussie styled ballad ...

Here's someone now,
who's got the muscle,
His steady hand ,
could move a mountain,
Expert in bed,
but come on now
there must be something missin'
That golden one,
leads a double...life
You'll find out.

And with that...tonights entry comes to a close - perhaps a little short on humour...but ok on information I hope.

Goodnight Ms. Hazel Mae, fondest regards and best wishes from north of the border. Hope you are well...and the countdown to your B-day has officially started! *smile*

In the words of Kip... peesth out


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