Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae if she is checking in.

As sports fans we all have an opinion on the stories that make the headlines – if you are one of the regular readers here, you know we always have something to say about the goings on in the world of sports. Admittedly, a lot of attention is given to the donkeys in the world of sports – be it the players we watch, the media types we read about and watch (Hazel excluded of course) or the guys charged with making decisions for our teams.

Today, it’s your turn to make the call in what is likely to become a weekly entry on this page – Donkey or Douchebag? Since we’re feeling charitable today, our verdict will focus on which one of the two choices are not applicable to the principles – you can choose to assume that, from our perspective, what isn’t ruled out is applicable; it is your prerogative to assume that.

Most of you haven’t had the pleasure (read misfortune) to read the musings of Ottawa Sun columnist Bruce Garrioch – he’s pretty much our equivalent of the Patriots beat writer for the Boston Herald (think “big”). Garrioch is the ultimate SenaTard homer – so much so that when things are bad with the home town team, he writes a column about the team he professes to loathe – our beloved Maple Leafs. This just makes him a donkey – but as you are being asked to make the call, consider the following.

Garrioch isn’t shy about admitting that during slow news days, he has no qualms about publishing rumours (many self-generated) and “throwing them against the wall to see what sticks.”

For those of you who don’t follow the NHL, the SenaTards are in a bit of a tailspin, after starting out the year 15-2, they’ve fallen back to the pack and find themselves in a three-way tie for first place in the conference. Big Bruce is in Florida covering the GM meetings, ostensibly to cover what Tards GM Bryan Murray is up to – but yesterday being a slow news day, Bruce “broke” the story that the Maple Leafs and Flyers were on the verge of a trade that would see Leafs D Tomas Kaberle go to Philadelphia; as is usually the case with the big guy, he didn’t have any info on who was going to Toronto. Garrioch reported this a few hours after Kaberle’s agent stated that his client would not waive his no-trade clause under any circumstances. The report was not picked up or confirmed by anyone outside of Ottawa. The breaking story was forgotten by the time the sun came up this morning.

The verdict here is that Garrioch is not a giant donkey for getting caught making up a ridiculous rumour because of his hatred of the Tards’ main rival.

Where do we start?

We’ll start in Hazel’s hometown of Toronto with Jays catcher Gregg Zaun ,who fulfilled his promise to address the fans and media “in a few days” after his name was mentioned in the Mitchell Report (remember that?)

The “Zauner” spoke to Rogers Sportsnet’s Brad Fay to give his account of the story (posted here last Saturday). Gregg’s version of the story was that he gave Grimsley a blank cheque, “probably to pay off some bet they had on a basketball game” and that he doesn’t know what happened afterwards, but that Grimsley may have given it to Kirk Radomski to buy steroids.

As a matter of fact, the Zauner is such a good guy that he doesn’t hold anything against his old friend Jason Grimsley for putting him in the middle of the mess that was the Mitchell Report.

The verdict is here is that Zaun is not a douchebag. He gets points for an original excuse, but in the grand scheme of things, he’s a complete donkey for trying to slip in this lame excuse at a time when everyone was focused on Roger Clemens’ appearance before the Congressional Committee.

Next up – New York Yankees P Andy Pettitte, who spoke to the media AGAIN about his use of HGH. Pettitte was given the benefit of the doubt here when he first spoke about his use of the drug in the wake of the Mitchell Report – he almost got “Hazel’s Champs” status for owning up to his use.

Pettitte has tried to distance himself from the McNamee/Clemens hearings, telling the media (and anyone who will listen) that no person should be put in that position – having to choose between two friends. Pettitte maintains that he is just trying to do the right thing (expect when it comes to the extent of his use of HGH) and be honest about what happened – he doesn’t want people to think of him as a liar. Ummm ok.

The verdict here is that Pettitte is not a donkey for not coming clean from the beginning and not having the stones to support one of the two principles. Anyone else get the feeling that Clemens and McNamee have something on Pettitte? Pettitte looks like he is sitting on the fence here because he knows both can blow him out of the water.

Speaking of MacNamee is he the biggest non-donkey of them all.

Next up – what would an entry on donkey’s be without Curt Schilling?

The Boston Red Sox pitcher was at his best yesterday when talking to the media about his shoulder injury and the course of action decided on by the Boston Red Sox management.

Schilling, who professes to be a straight shooter, spoke to the media with the skill of a politician or attorney. Big Curt went on about how he alerted Theo Epstein that there might be a problem as soon as he realized something was wrong. What a class guy Schilling is – he didn’t want to hamper the Sox in their pursuit of Twins’ lefty Johan Santana; is there no limit to his selflessness? Schilling even addressed fans who may be thinking he hosed the Sox by saying that if that had been his intention, he could have hosed at least two other teams for $14M. He said everything but “leaving money on the table” – but you know it still irks him.

Schilling went on about how he couldn’t “legally” follow the recommendation of his doctor because he had a contract with the Sox – a contract with the devil? For a guy who calls people out all the time - because you know, he’s a straight shooter who tells it like it is (except in front of Congressional Committees) – you’d think he’d be honest enough to say, I don’t want to give up the $8M bucks.

Schilling is definitely not a donkey for seeking a second opinion and telling the media that while he would have preferred to follow his doctor’s advice – he’s just too damn honest and committed to the Red Sox to breach his contract.

Next up – Bill Belichick…on second thought, never mind.

Well, the San Jose Sharks did it again – this time screwing up our picks by blowing a two-goal lead in the third period to the offensively challenged NY Islanders. Slap me if I suggest playing the Sharks any time before April. The total for the week is - $40. Today’s suggestions:

Nashville over Edmonton – the Predators are tough to beat in their own building and the Oilers aren’t exactly road warriors. Lay $100 on Nashville - $200.

Minnesota over Vancouver – two teams going in opposite directions; the Wild have won seven of their last ten while the Canucks have lost six of their last ten. You know what we think about the Wild at home. Lay $100 on Minnesota - $160.

Montreal over NY Rangers – a bit of a dangerous pick here, but the thinking is that Montreal will remember blowing a 3-0 lead to these very same Rangers back on Super Bowl Sunday, it won’t happen again. Lay $100 on the Habs - $130.

That’s it for today gang – thanks for taking the time to check in.

Hazel, here’s hoping things are groovy in your world.

I’m Out.


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