Weird & Whacked Wednesday

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special "Hey" goes out to Hazel Mae.

For those of you who haven't been here before, Wednesday entries take a look back at some of the more "interesting" stories making news from the world of sports - you know, the stories that make us laugh at shake our heads and wonder what the principles were thinking. The stories catching our attention fall under the categories of the weird, the whacked, or the just plain dumb. I'll let you decide where each fits.

MLB

CAPPING OFF A BAD SEASON
Chicago White Sox SS Juan Uribe was questioned and released by police in the Dominican Republic after a two men were shot. Uribe and a couple of his friends remain suspects in the shooting. It is alleged that Uribe took exception to two men walking too close to his jeep - an argument ensued and shots were fired. A perfect way to cap off a disappointing season for Uribe.

File this one under whacked: you get into an argument with someone walking to close to your car? You get into an argument and settle it by shooting them? Its the Dominican Republic, so he'll undoubtedly get off on this one...but its still nuts.


JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS
One time Red Sox P Sammy Stewart was sentenced to six years in prison on "drug charges and other crimes". This is classic - he pleaded guilty to be a habitual felon, felony drug possession, and failure to appear in court on a felony. What is a habitual felon you ask? Well, how about someone who has been charged with more than 60 offences and sent to prison six times.

File this one under just plain dumb: no explanations needed on this one.


STEVE LYONS - ALL THIS FOR STEVE LYONS?
Steve Lyons was fired by FOX for a comment he made towards Lou Piniella that was deemed offensive and hurtful to Hispanics. I'm not going to make a judgement on what he said - it was just plain stupid and is a reflection of the moron that uttered that garbage. What I do have a problem with is the press coverage this has generated.

I should mention that Lyons has his backers - my Los Angeles Dodgers have opted to retain his services for Dodgers broadcasts, provided he completely sensitivity training; surprise surprise, Gerry Callahan of the Boston Herald is in Lyons' corner.

But people...its Steve Lyons. Why can't we see this for what it really is? FOX waited for the first opportunity to fire Lyons because he's a bad broadcaster - they couldn't fire him after years with the Network without some sort of reason...it would make them look foolish. Lyons' appeal is much like watching someone trip over a crack on the sidewalk - its funny for about five seconds, then you forget about it.

File this one under weird: When did Steve Lyons become such an important media personality? This guy is best known for dropping his pants while standing on first base - and if you don't think that was pre-conceived and staged... Lyons', must like his pants-dropping incident is media stunt, a joke. Move on people...its Steve Lyons.


SPEAKING OF GOOD SPORTS BROADCASTERS
You have undoubtedly heard about Lamar Thomas' commentary during the Miami / Florida International football game over the weekend. I won't offer any comment - instead, I'll point you to the NESN video clip of Hazel recapping the story. Hazel gets a good jab in there...oh yeah, she looks absolutely stunning too.


NFL

THE DETROIT LIONS NEED HELP
You would think that a team that has won one game all year would be worried about their play on the field and what they could do to salvage another awful season. Nope, not the Detroit Lions - they are more concerned with the list of banned substances put out by the NFL. Lions DT Shaun Rogers has been suspended for four games for violating the league's policy on banned substances - and his teammates say its hard to understand the policy and what constitutes a banned substance.

File this one under just plain dumb: what a perfect smoke screen to avoid answering questions on why your team stinks. NFL teams employ doctors and nutritionists for this very thing - you might want to consult them.

NICK SABAN HAS A PLAN
The Miami Dolphins activated Marcus Vick off of the practice roster. Vick has been activated to provide "depth" at the quarterback position while Daunte Culpepper "rehabs" his knee. Where do I start with this? First off, I don't believe for a second that Culpepper is rehabbing his knee - this is Miami realizing they made a big mistake signing this guy. Second, you can activate Vick - but don't tell your fans that he will provide depth at the position. If you think Marcus Vick is "depth" - you are in serious, serious trouble.

File this one under just plain dumb: Miami's entire season has been just plain dumb - the announcement associated with this move just proves it.


NHL

MUCH LIKE SABAN, BOB CLARKE HAS A PLAN
Philadelphia Flyers' GM Bob Clarke took swift action to address his team's problems after a 9-1 beat down at the hands of the Sabres. Bob Clarke, always a visionary and a pro-active GM, identified the problem - he put Petr Nedved, Nolan Baumgartner, and Niko Dimitrakos on waivers. The problem isn't the fact that Clarke built a team that is better suited for the NHL of 5 years ago, the problem isn't the fact that the players have seemingly quit on coach Ken Hitchcock, the problem isn't the fact that Bob Clarke has failed to acquire a front-line goalie - nope, its these three players. Wait and see the difference this move makes - they'll lost 6-1 next time.

File this one under just plain dumb: because its Bob Clarke - and I think he's an idiot.

That's about it for tonight's update on the Weird & Whacked.

Time to update on the Hazelspeeps Fantasy Hockey League - a tough start to the season for two Hazelspeeps veterans. Renee and I are off to horrible starts, but the season is only two weeks old and there is plenty of time to shoot up the standings. Standings as of Wednesday morning

48.0 - Double DD Bandits - owned by Hubie has proven that he blows his load early.

45.5 - Skating Bobcats - owned by the Commish Drisc, who making up for a bad year in the baseball pool.

44.5 - Hanson Brothers - owned by Sparky, who is making a bid for a double after winning the baseball pool

44.0 - Weekend Warriors - owned by the Bakerboy. He's been pretty quiet - so he must be researching the waiver wire.

36.0 - Ice Bitches - owned by Renee who seems to be pretty comfortable on top of El Presidente.

34.0 - Hazel's Maeple Leafs - owned by El Presidente, who is used to starting the season in the basement before charging up the standings.

NFL Picks tomorrow - whether you want them or not. Have a great one peeps!

Hazel, I hope things are groovy in your world - initial reviews on The Buzz are coming in on Yahoo.

Song of the Night on Hazelspeeps - for a comment made by my pal Renee (for the record - I hate this song)

Centerfold - J. Geils Band

Peesth Out...Buh Bye!