Monday, December 10, 2007

Check the warranty on that guarantee

Hey Peeps and anyone else checking in. A special “Hey” goes out to Hazel Mae if she is checking in.

Through the good graces of Tilt – who is coming off another horrible beat at the poker table last night, don’t ask – we’re checking in with a recap and a few questions from weekend that was in the world of sports.

Was anyone, outside of the so-called experts, really shocked that the Patriots humiliated the Steelers? We weren’t buying the hype going into this game – especially with the media sensationalizing the “guarantee of victory” by Steelers CB Anthony Smith – for the simple fact that we’ve been saying all year that the Steelers are counterfeit. First off, the media’s portrayal of Smith’s guarantee being a motivating factors for the Patriots is retarded – the motivation for the Patriots was to silence the so-called experts who actually gave the Steelers a hope in hell of winning; second, we’re finding hard to believe that a group of media-savvy professionals like the Patriots took much notice of Smith’s “guarantee” (which was a stretch at best – the media hyped the “guarantee” part to the point of nausea). The bottom line was that the Patriots squashed a group of pretenders, relegating the clowns in black and gold (more like yellow to us) to also-rans.

We’ll give the Steelers credit for one thing – they ran out the clock at the end of the game, rather than go for a meaningless touchdown.

Detroit Lions QB Jon Kitna doesn’t get enough mention (credit???) for being the biggest jackass in the league. For a guy that hasn’t accomplished very much in his NFL career – Kitna talks much more than he should. His “guarantee” of a ten-win season went out the window yesterday, thanks in large part to his ineffectiveness in the red zone. In yesterday’s loss to OUR Dallas Cowboys (minus Tilt and Quikdraw who are haters), Kitna whined about missed calls, complained about receivers not getting open and so forth. Kitna probably should have looked at himself in yesterday’s loss – Detroit’s offensive co-ordinator Mike Martz took the game out of Kitna’s hands and relied heavily on the run, with short safe passes sprinkled in. Kitna was relegated to the role of “game manager” – no turnovers, no scores, no big plays with NO RESULTS in the red zone. Part of the latter goes to Dallas’ D, but Kitna shoulders part, if not most, of the responsibility. As was the case in Buffalo, Dallas didn’t play their best game of the season – but, much like New England, they found a way to win – and that’s what matters. See you in the Super Bowl Pats fans.

We all know gambling is taboo if you are affiliated with a professional sports team – but you have to wonder what was going in yesterday’s game between the Jets and Browns. The Jets, down by 6 with a little over two minutes, are in a fourth and 11 on the Browns 21 yard line – you would think that Eric Mangini would go for the win, but instead opted to go for a field goal to close the gap to three points. In case you were wondering, the Browns were favoured by 4.5 yesterday. Still trying to figure out what made him think his team had a chance of recovering an onside kick and going back down the field for another score - why wouldn’t he take his shot right there and then? Worst-case scenario was that he didn’t make it and would have to rely on his team to stop the Browns on the 21 yard line – best case scenario his team gets a first down and has a chance to win outright. As it turned out, the Browns scored after recovering an onside kick and the Jets go back down the field for a field goal – we’re wondering what the over/under was in the game. We’re not saying Mangini laid money on the game – but its one of those things that make you go “hmmmm”.

Are there two worse 9-4 teams that the New York Giants and the Seattle Seahawks? Seriously, do these guys scare anyone? The Giants do what they do best, squeak out wins against the league’s weak sisters and fold when they play a good team – watching Matt Hasselbeck jump around like an idiot yesterday against the Cardinals – imploring the ref to call a personal foul on Cards for an altercation started by one of his offensive lineman - was enough to make you want to reach through the screen and slap his bald head – does this donkey ever show up when it counts? The Giants can celebrate that 9-4 record and get into the playoffs – but the Bucs will beat these clowns. As for the Seahawks – we’ll see how much baldy is dancing when they travel to Dallas for a beatdown in the NFC Divisional games.

Nice to see Donovan McNabb’s back up his coach’s statement that the Eagles were still in the playoff hunt – McNabb was 20 of 30 for 179 yards (with a bunch of them coming on their last drive) with one TD; just good enough to lose. Sounds like a broken record when it comes to the Chunky Soup lovin mama’s boy.

The NHL is trying anything and everything to make the game more appealing and more exciting to television viewers in the United States – after watching some of the action this weekend, we have to ask why bother?

The NHL’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are making it unbearable to watch hockey. We speak of Bruins coach Claude Julien, Islanders coach Ted Nolan, Canucks bench boss Alain Vigneault, and Andy Murray of the Blues. These guys have their below average teams in the hunt for a playoff spot by having them bore their opposition to death with craphole trap hockey.

The Bruins were awful on Saturday night at the ACC – rarely having one guy forechecking in the Leafs zone – opting instead to clog up the neutral zone with four and five skaters. The Bruins weren’t playing to win – they were playing to hold on. It made for an excruciating two and a half hours of garbage. Julien is such a donkey that his response to the media when told that Leafs coach Paul Maurice said it was a “dog of a game” with the Bruins playing the trap was to say “they play it too”. We’re guessing that is what Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli meant when he said he wanted his team to be a tough team to play against. The only redeeming thing about the Bruins is that Hazel covers these clowns.

These teams all have a winning record – but can their fans really say they like watching them play? Why anyone would pay to watch these clowns is beyond us – they are killing the game.

We’ll recap this weekend’s three stars in our Champs & Chumps segment – as a teaser, Sharks C Joe Thornton is one of this week’s chumps, he’s officially on the crap list here.

We wrapped up another disappointing week and the total for the year is ugly (- $2,700) – the long road back to respectability starts tonight.

New Orleans –3.5 over ATLANTA – no Reggie Bush for the Saints tonight; maybe that’s a good thing since Sean Payton will have to simplify and streamline the game plan (no reverse calls). The Falcons are just playing out the string, while the Saints are delusional enough to think they can make the playoffs and accomplish something. Lay $100 on the Saints.

DALLAS over Edmonton – both teams have hit a rough stretch of late, but the Stars have dominated the Oilers in recent years. No reason to think the Oilers, who have been blowing third period leads of late, can get it done tonight. Lay $100 on the Stars - $200.

Vancouver over LOS ANGELES – we have no shame. Yes we can criticize the Canucks and suggest playing them in the very same entry. The Kings are a bit of a mess right now – which isn’t good news when you are playing the craphole “trapping Canucks”. Lay $100 on the Canucks - $160.

That’s it for today gang – thanks for taking the time to check in. Have a great one peeps.

Hazel, we hope things are groovy in your world.

We’re Out!!!


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